Just Like the SUNSCREEN Speech

(A Poem by Joel F. Lacaba)

tagubilin at habilin.

mabuhay ka kaibigan
yan ang una't huli kong tagubilin at habilin
mabuhay ka

sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo
mayaman ako sa payo

maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain
maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain
pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lamang makaiwas sa sisi
huwag ka maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi na kaya mong tulungan

paupuin mo sa bus ang mga matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol

magpasalamat ka sa nagmamagandang loob
matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma

huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw dalawin ng antok
huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang mga walang utang na loob
huwag makipagtalo sa bobo, at baka ka magpagkamalang bobo
huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangan mong sumigaw
huwag kang manalig sa mga bulung-bulungan
huwag papatay-patay sa ilalam ng pabitin
huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansitan
umawit ka kung nag-iisa ka sa banyo
umawit ka sa piling ng barkada
umawit ka kung nalulungkot
umawit ka kung masaya
ingat lang, at huwag kang aawit ng 'my way' sa videoke bar, baka ka mabaril

huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang mga walang utang na loob

huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan
dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas
dahan-dahan sa malulubak na lugar, higit sa lahat, inuulit ko
mabuhay ka

maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya
mabuhay ka

maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas
mabuhay ka
sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan, kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay
gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig
gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng pasanin
gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak

huwag kang papatalo
huwag kang susuko
narinig mo ang sinabi ng awitin
'gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling, sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing'
'gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig'
'bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapus-palad'
ang sabi ng iba ang matapang ay walang takot lumaban
ang sabi ko naman, 'ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban kahit natatakot'

lumaban ka kung iginungudngod ang nguso mo sa putik
bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka
buong tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo
kahit hindi ka siguradong agad-agad kang mananalo

mabuhay ka kaibigan
mabuhay ka

On "Rebound" Relationships

I found my way to this blog thru one of my recent visitors, Edz, and I kinda unwittingly found this post also on avoiding rebound relationships. I found it hard to avoid thinking of what happened to my own relationship and couldn't help but think whether or not my ex-boyfriend even thinks if what he's really having right now is a rebound relationship or not.

I'm not being bitchy right now, ok? I am genuinely concerned for the girl that my ex is now going steady with. Just imagine the circumstances, that just about a few DAYS after we broke up, they already became a couple. Unless of course, my ex was already courting her before we even broke up, right? So maybe only he can really answer this. I hope YOU are reading this post right now... Hello?! Can anybody please tell him to read this?!

I really don't know what's going on with them, and that's also a factor that I'm considering because actually, if you really think about it, any girl may think that this may or may not be a rebound relationship. Unless, again, she was promised beforehand that it was not, and that my ex was just waiting for me to initiate the break up.

Ok, so because of this post I'm now getting confused about what really happened with us, but one thing's for sure, something bad happened and what he did was to refract his feelings on me by saying things like, "O, baka meron ka nang ka-date jan ha?", "Don't you flirt around with guys there, ok?", "Think of our future hunnie, ok? Don't do anything stupid!", and things like these. I was just stupid enough to have trusted him almost completely again after a similar incident in 2004. I honestly felt downright stupid for not believing people when they told me "he did it once, he can do it again..." and now I know. Learned it the hard way though, but it was a lesson learned.

I just genuinely hope that if he really cares for this new girl, that he won't do the same to her. I hope he got contented in making me one of his victims for the longest of time, and I really wish he won't hurt other people anymore.

All is But TEMPORARY

Life goes on
Sometimes as we planned
Sometimes as we dreamed
Sometimes as we imagined;
But sometimes as we feared.

There are times
We thought things will stay,
People won't change,
Feelings won't fade;
But sometimes they fail.

I thought I wouldn't make it
I thought I'd feel empty
I thought I'd give up on everything
But thoughts are just thoughts
Sometimes fickle, sometimes stubborn.

There's nowhere else to go but forward
Nothing else to do but move on
Nothing else to think of but the future
Nothing else to feel but be thankful.

Should - Could - Would

I should feel blue
But I couldn't
Because I wouldn't

I should be angry
But I wouldn't
Because I couldn't

I should hate
But I couldn't
Because I wouldn't

I should shed my tears
But I wouldn't
Because I couldn't

I shouldn't stay away
But I could
Because I would

I shouldn't stay quiet
But I could
Because I would

I shouldn't forget it all
But I could
Because I would

I shouldn't forgive
But I would
Because I could

I shouldn't move on
But I would
Because I could

I shouldn't because I couldn't
I couldn't because I wouldn't.
But because I should that's why I would;
And I would that's why I could.

Labor Day at the Beach

I spent Labor Day in Tingko, Alcoy (a really nice semi-private beach in Cebu) together with the family of my ex-boyfriend. Of course, no need to ask, my ex was there with his new love and as weird as it may sound, it was ok.

I was invited to join the family outing at the very early hour of 5 am, and good thing was that I was already awake when the message came in. Hmm, I packed my bag and raced to my ex's family's house eager also to give my cute "adopted" niece her ring (she really liked my pinkie ring, but it's just big on her finger so I promised her I'd buy her one and she remembered! My goodness, the memory of kids these days!)

And, believe it or not, as soon as EJ (the cute baby girl) was awake and saw me there in their living room, she immediately gestured her forefinger reminding me of the ring. Such an angel. :) She really liked it that she almost won't put her hand down!

So I rode with EJ's family on the van and was in a really good mood I was determined that nothing will ruin my mood for the rest of the day. Good enough, nothing really did burst my bubble that day. It was all pleasant, even the conversations with Timothy, EJ's big brother, we talked about things like Resident Evil, huge squids, the Bermuda Triangle, and weird sharks. Cool topics to talk about, huh?

At the beach, I spent time bonding with EJ's Mom and her family, also with my ex's brothers and their partners, also with his cousins. Pong and his siblings are just the guys you'd wanna talk to if you wanna hear mind-boggling questions and logic tricks. We talked and talked and ate and swam (as if I knew how...).

After that, we went to Dalaguete to go and see some of their former neighbors, and fortunately they did see some, about 3 of 'em. Hehe! While waiting for them finish hunting for shells I spent more time with EJ and even took some pictures. I'm still thinking whether I'd post 'em here because those pics would surely make you identify me... hmmmm... let's see... the heck, I'll post the pictures. :)


here's EJ, posing for the cam while wearing a pair of sunglasses...



ssshhh!!! Don't tell anyone, ok? :)



EJ and me...


To make the long day shorter, we went home at about 6 pm and after dinner went to my place to get a table I wasn't using anymore because it just couldn't fit in my room and gave it to my ex's older brother (they're newlyweds, so they really need these things! :>). And after that, just about 9.30pm we went to makro where the newlyweds thought they may be able to buy a dish organizer, but they just weren't able to do so because it all went out of stock! It was just 11pm when I arrived home, sent a few messages to a friend who kept checking on me the whole day and informed him I was already home, so no need to worry. And then, peaceful sleep. I was so bummed I fell asleep as soon as I laid down.

Inspired or Expired?!

Haha, I'm laughing at myself right now because I just published that post entitled "I'm Freezing" and then I remembered that my online diary really needs to know this! Ooohh, I'm so excited!

Okay, here goes...

Wahaha! I feel stupid. I'm more than 20 years old and now I feel as if I went back to high school years because of this cranky feeling when you see someone that you enjoy looking at, even if he doesn't look back at you nor see you. I think it's commonly termed a "crush". Anyway, since I'm now appropriately labeled as "single", I can have a crush on anyone I like right now, ayt? Hehehe!

Okay, I won't mention his name or even describe him in detail or even in general terms because we can't really tell, there may come a time when he might track this blog down (either I tell him or he gets the info from someone else, I don't know, I'll just be careful because this may really be embarrassing!). What I can say with certainty is that he's good looking, and tall. Hehe! Good enough?

What made me smile yesterday and kept me thinking about it for the rest of the day (and night) is that he actually talked to me, nonsense things or trivial things if you really think about it, but well, you can't blame me, I spent a favorably long time in a relationship and I wasn't able to exercise the freedom to have crushes. Goodness, if this entry goes out into the open, I'm doomed!

I see him around actually, of course I look at him every now and then (he's really cute) but it was just yesterday that we both kinda had the guts to start a conversation. Out of nowhere mind you, but it was a conversation nonetheless. He's really got nice eyes. I'm a sucker for nice eyes. Anyway, I kinda feel stupid and naive right now because at 23, I still have this kind of high school crush feelings - the feeling any normal girl gets when he gets talked to by a cute guy.

This is embarrassing, but you really don't know me personally so that's okay. And you really don't have the vaguest idea how I really look like too! So, all is fair... :)

I'm Freezing!

I was born and raised in a tropical country and now, it's summer here. Outside, it's kinda scorching hot, perfect weather for a vacation in some of the best beaches in town. Unfortunately (or fortunately), I'm working today and I'm actually having my butt frozen here inside my office because the darn airconditioning system is set to really really very cool. Grrrhhh!

What annoys me most is that I cannot adjust the setting in any way because it's centralized and it kinda makes me feel whoozy and sleepy and freakishly slothful. Hmm, bad day, huh?

Anyway, I managed to bring a cute little blanket the other day and a jacket also which I'm wearing right now while I'm typing away on my keyboard. It helped alleviate the cold a little, but I can still feel it in my bones. It's a little annoying actually because when I'm outside I always wished hard for a cool breeze that will ward of the heat of the sun, and when I'm actually somewhere cold, then I wish it can be a little warm! I think I even sometimes confuse my guardian angels by the way I think! I'm sorry... Haha! But now, I'd really like to just cozy up to a thick comfortable blanket on a soft fluffy bed with lots of cottony soft pillows... Hmm, I just wish I can have that luxury right now. Soon enough I assume. Hehe!

It's actually a terrible feeling to just shiver in the cold knowing you can't do anything about it but some little itsy bitsy measures that can somehow make you a little comfortable or to just help you to cope with the situation. Oh dear, here I go again - I'm about to compare it again with real life, which sucks a little because I'm really not a life coach or something and I feel as if I really don't have the authority to make such comments. Anyway, my fingers are a little stiff already and my toenails are now little bluish. I just couldn't get why I cannot adopt as easily to very cold environments! Guess I couldn't migrate to countries that have winter after all... :)