Help me Win a Babyshower!

Johnson's Baby World of Firsts has started an online contest for moms-to-be to get a chance to win a luxurious baby shower. So I joined. I nominated myself. lol! What the heck, right? Help me win by first praying that my nominated gets chosen, and then when that happens, to help me gather as many likes as possible to win!

For more details on the said contest, please click on this link: http://www.facebook.com/johnsonsbabyPH?v=app_4949752878

Johnson's Baby World of Firsts' facebook page is here: http://www.facebook.com/johnsonsbabyPH

As Promised... Update on Testing OWTs

I posted before that I'm supposed to be testing some old wives' tales about determining the gender of my unborn baby, and that after the weekend, we would be 100% sure already since we'll be having an ultrasound. Well, surprise! We didn't.

I was so disappointed when Dr Cyd told us we still should wait for another month to have our ultrasound. Grr. And I was so hyped over Thursday and Friday because of excitement which all of a sudden turned into disgruntlement because our OB still wants to wait for another month just to have the gender determined. Hmm, I wondered why but she just keeps on telling us that we should wait another month so that the sonologist/ultrasound technician will not commit any mistakes in telling us whether the baby is a boy or a girl.

Hohum. Duh. So we'll just have to wait until November 13 or 14 to finally know.

10-10-10 and that Strong Kick!

What a historic date!

Of course, this day won't come by in the nearest future, so that was pretty special already. Plus a friend of ours delivered her baby boy via cesarean on that date too, at 10 o'clock. Imagine. Congratulations Val & Tonton, welcome to Sean Khaleb!

And of course, we also have something to remember 10-10-10 by! Last night, while we were already lying in bed, talking a bit, waiting for sleepiness to knock us off, Tom asked why in the world I was giggling even though what he was saying wasn't at all funny. So I told him - it's because the baby's moving too much! Night time is when this baby particularly likes to do somersaults and flips or just let us know that it kicks and flails its arms around. So I took Tom's hand and placed it over the spot where he can probably feel the movements, and he talked to the tummy and said, "Strong kick daw beh?"

And so we waited for about a few seconds, and the baby suddenly gave one hard kick! I was laughing and Tom was shouting "Waaahhahaha! It kicked! Kusuga uy!"

Hmm, what do you know, a very obedient baby while still in the womb! I was so proud... Lol!

Anyway, we still have no idea what the gender is, but we have scheduled ourselves to finally have an ultrasound on Saturday, perhaps after our check-up with Doc Cyd.

:)

Bill passed for Longer Maternity Leaves, plus benefits!

Oh how I would love for this to become a law!

The bill, House Bill 2583, was filed by Rep. Winston Castelo citing that maternity leaves for working women should be extended to 84 days for normal deliveries and 100 days for caesarian deliveries. Included is the provision for members of the Social Security System (or SSS) and Government Security Insurance System (or GSIS) shall be paid a daily maternity benefit equivalent to 150 percent of her present basic salary, allowances and other benefits or its cash equivalent for 84 calendar days, for 100 days for high-risk pregnancies.

Also under the bill is that SSS or GSIS should immediately reimburse the 100% maternity benefits advanced by the employer to their pregnant employees. I think currently, they reimburse 50% prior or upon delivery, and the other 50% after delivery. Included in the time frame of course is the tedious paper trail you need to make just to process these reimbursements.

Currently, law provides for 60 days maternity leave for normal deliveries and 78 days for caesarian deliveries. For more details on the outstanding law on maternity benefits, go to this page. For the article on the new bill filed, go here.

:)

19 weeks and counting!!!

And according to babycenter, the baby is now about 6 inches long and weighs 9 ounces. Sensory development reaches its peak this week. The nerve cells serving each of the senses - taste, smell, hearing, seeing, and touch - are now developing in their specialized areas of the brain. Nerve cell production slows down as existing nerve cells grow larger and make more complex connections. Hmm, so maybe that's why I feel a lot of fluttering - a LOT of fluttering - (this is how fetal movements at this stage feel like) maybe because the baby can now hear my voice and whatever sounds it can hear from the inside... And recently, I've been feeling a little heavier even though my OB said I didn't gain any weight since my August visit. Hmmm.. Actually I've decided to cut down a little on too much rice so I won't gain too much weight and later have difficulty, right? But I still eat good, always considering this little fella inside.

We also had a good laugh during my last prenatal check-up because we asked if we can already have an ultrasound to determine the gender. My dear OB just laughed us off, said we were too excited. She suggested to have the ultrasound when I'm already on my 6th month, so there'll be very little chances of the ultrasound tech giving us an erroneous answer to the most intriguing question - boy or girl?

My dad also laughed at us when we called them Monday night, I think that was Monday night. Anyway, he asked why we were so curious, well I said it's because we have to pick a color for the baby things! And he blurted out yellow because it's gender neutral. Yikes! Is it? Same with Mark's comment in the movie Juno, we actually haven't seen a guy with a yellow room... :)

Pagbabago

Ang dami-daming nagbabago ngayon. Mga lugar, kainan, mga logo ng bangko, mga logo ng restaurant. Ang mga pulis lumalala, ang mga pulitiko, lalong lumala. Ang mga tao pagod na, ang iba naman tumanda na at nag-kaanak.

Nabanggit ko nalang din ang salitang "nagka-anak", malapit na rin ako dyan. Kaya pagkalaki-laking pagbabago ang pinagdadaanan ko ngayon.

Pero parang pagbabago lang naman ng logo. Ganun pa rin ang katauhan, ang mga prinsipyo, ang kaisipan. Ganun pa rin ako - minsan makulit, minsan mataray. Dito parin ako nagtatrabaho kung saan ako nagtatrabaho bago pa dumating ang pagbabagong ito. Ganun parin ang pamumuhay, payak pero masaya. Ang mga pangarap ko para sa sarili ko dati, ganun parin. Ang pagbabago eh nangyari sa pisikal na anyo, para ka lang nagbago ng logo. Pero kaakibat nito eh ang pagbabago na rin ng pananaw mo sa iyong hinaharap - "pyuchur" ika nga.

Nagbago ang pananaw ko sa mundo, parang gusto ko lahat maayos at masaya dahil hangad ko na paglabas ng munti kong anghel eh hindi sya mabigla sa tunay na buhay sa labas ng aking sinapupunan. Ngayon eh kasama na sya sa mga plano - sa budget, sa pagbili ng mga gamit sa bahay, pagpaplano ng kakainin pati ng pwedeng inumin. At syempre, nagbago na rin ang pisikal kong anyo. Nagkalaman na ang aking mga pisngi at braso. Pati hita. Pati kamo balakang. At ngayon, hinahanap-hanap ko na yung mga damit ko dati na maluwag na sana. Mukha na akong nakalulon ng maliit na pakwan. Minsan nauuna na rin ang tyan ko 'pag naglalakad ako. Pakiramdam ko rin eh araw-araw na binibinat ang balat ko sa tyan. Pero ok lang. Dumating din ang panahaon na nagbago ang panglasa ko. Ayaw ko ng lechong manok at amoy ng bawang. Bumibili ako ng prutas, pero di ko kinakain. Kumakain ng gulay, pero di inuubos. Dapat uminom ng gatas, pero ayoko sa amoy. Andyan din yung panahon na ang gusto ko lang kainin eh puro tinapay, o kaya eh cupcake, at ng lumaon, cake na. Kaya takbo sa pinakamalapit na department store, may Goldilocks kasi dun. Akala pa nga namin eh nawala na, kasi nagbago rin ang itsura ng logo nila. Buti nalang mali kami - andun pa rin sila, ganun pa rin ang lasa. Masarap. At mabango.

Iilan lang ang mga ito sa ang pagbabagong pinagdadaanan ko at patuloy pang daraanan. Mga pagbabagong masarap. Kaayaya. Dahil alam mo na pagkatapos ng pagbabagong ito, lahat ay maayos pa rin. Gaya ng dati, pero mas masarap at mas nakakatuwa.

OB Visit and Maternity Clothes

They're not exactly the typical maternity clothes we used to see our moms and others wear. I really don't want those. Lol! Good thing there was an ongoing sale in SM Cebu and spent more than 30 minutes finding the "design" that somehow doesn't make my eyebrows rise.

Luckily, I found 3 upper pieces, one that just looks a bit like an ordinary shirt, and 2 blouses that I can use in the office. they're quite comfortable since they're a bit big. Got them from Additions and Mama Care brands in SM department store. I also managed to find a pair of pants that fit me nicely. It has an elastic band at the waist so when the time comes, it can still fit.

Before heading to SM we went to my OB, Dr Cyd Raagas of Visayas Community. Good thing there really was no t a lot of people lining up at her clinic. She's only "by appointment" on Saturdays. So we went in, chatted a little about how we're doing, how we're feeling, etc. and then she said she'd want to check on the baby's heartbeat. So she asked her assistant to get the doppler so she can listen in.

It works like an unltrasound, only it just lets you hear the heartbeat, you can't see anything. So she started moving the mic around my lower tummy and was starting to look a bit worried or surprised or something that she still can't locate the baby's heart. For a few brief moments Dr Cyd and Tom heard the heartbeat but it was very faint, only means they were pointing the mic at a wrong location. Dr Cyd moved the mic around more and said that maybe the baby was hiding at the inner parts of my uterus that's why it's hard to locate. But even before she got frustrated, my baby finally cooperated and let us hear the most wanted sound for the day. True enough it was very clear and strong - this is when Dr Cyd said the baby might be a girl since she has a strong heartbeat. It sounded so solid already, more like an adult, only faster. The doctor said the baby's heart was going about 140 beats per minute. She was being technical, we were just elated and excited. Tom's face was so lighted up, you can mistake him for a Christmas lamp.

So our next visit will be next month. I'm also lying low on salty foods and junk foods. Darn. Anyway, I just had too, or else my feet will look like an elephant's. And I also had to take note of what I intake. The doc said I have to be careful since diabetes runs in our blood, and also just to prevent being hypertensive before giving birth. Hohum. Guess we'll have to buy more veggies now.  :)

My WANNA EAT Cebu Experience

"I want pizza. Hmm, Brasco."... "Brasco?" Tom flashed a questioning look. Here he goes again, he can't remember where the heck to go. "It's in Wanna Eat. IT park, remember?!"

My last update about my pregnancy is that there are a lot of smells that I can't stand. Somehow tomatoes and tomato sauce got included in that list a few weeks back, and garlic too, but I was surprised to find out that there's one kind of pizza that doesn't make me cringe - Brasco. Brasco is just one of the brands carried by Wanna Eat Cebu, an all-in-one food tripper's heaven located in IT park (Cebu City).

I think Wanna Eat Cebu just opened recently, since it was just a few days ago when we actually stumbled upon it while looking for a place to eat where I won't gag because of the odors and whatnots. It looks like a mini-food court and carries a really wide variety of choices for an individual, a couple or even a group. I personally think the main "attraction" of this place is that a lot of possible food choices are covered by just one place, as I mentioned a few statements ago, it's a food tripper's heaven. They have grilled meats, rice-based meals, even halo-halo, all these are housed under their MyJoy brand. Pizzas, pastas and tacos are with Brasco, and if you want to have coffee and/or chocolate (both yummy!) for your after dinner chikahan, then Butterbean is there to indulge you. For kids and "feeling-kids", fruit shakes are also available if you don't want to have sodas or regular juice. So if you're out with a group and you're about to spend an hour or so deliberating where you want to eat because no two of you can't make up your minds on what you want for dinner (even lunch!) then Wanna Eat must be your first choice. You can continue arguing with yourselves while you're inside. Lol!

Anyway, so why do I like Wanna Eat's Brasco? Because it doesn't reek of the smells that pregnant women might detest. I know because the moment the pizza was served I started sniffing it out. (It's a weird habit, I know. But even before I got pregnant I really do try to smell my food first.) That's why I know it doesn't smell or stink. We ordered the Brasco specialty, the Brasco pizza. And a slice of it looks like this:

And there's Tom, barely able to speak from eating his slice. Don't worry, we didn't have soda, that's Wanna Eat's specialty too, blended Iced Tea.

Another noticeable thing is that when the pizza has cooled down a bit, the oils from the sauce and the meat doesn't float right up the whole thing, unlike some pizza stores I know. Ingrid (the owner) also told me the meatballs in the Brasco pizza were from their very own recipe. Lucky, because the meat also doesn't smell at all. Of course, I rarely rarely eat pizza without hot sauce, so I dropped a very generous serving of that on my slice too.

After having the pizza, you can't help but to think about eating something sweet, I guess because of the colors inside Wanna Eat. Chairs and tables were of fuschia and yellow green, which on my opinion, subconsciously reminds you of cotton candy. We ordered their Mango Buko Pandan instead of halo-halo because I was afraid my tummy won't hold in that much anymore. Hmm, lovely. The mangoes were just ripe and the cream wasn't to overpoweringly sweet. Perfect even for those on a diet. Or for "sensitive-tummied" people like me. Hehehe!

You might want to try it out tonight or tomorrow or on Friday night, especially now that Wanna Eat Cebu has special promos for their customers. They have the Belly Many promo which boasts of increasing discounts when your order of their grilled pork belly also increases. I just forgot how much the discounts were but it works like this: if you order 1, let's say the price is at hmm, 69 pesos. (It's an example so don't bite my butt over the figures if they differ in actual, ok?) If you order 2 instead of 1, you'll just pay 59 pesos each. And if you order 3 instead of just 2 or 1, you'll just pay 49 each. Something like that. So it's really very advantageous if you order more than 1. This type of progressive discounting is also available for their halo-halo. So if you're craving for that, might as well go there now.

So there, I've actually managed to pin down one of my cravings, pizza. But not any type of pizza. Just like my mom was having cravings specifically for Manager's Choice of another pizza brand when she was pregnant with me, I think I'm craving for Brasco pizza. I'll bug Tom about it again tonight. Lol!

Oh and before I forget, if you're out and about doing freelance work, just want to check your emails while or after eating, or just feeling the urge to update your status message and need Wifi, it's available there in Wanna Eat. Charging or plugging in your power cords is free for the first hour, they'll be charging a very minimum fee for the succeeding minutes, so better be good on time and battery management. Lol! And yes, Sodexho is accepted.  :)

On my 10th Week

My apologies for not blogging more often, but I was just in the pits in the last weeks - feeling tired and sluggish, not understanding what I'm really feeling, things like that. And up until now, I still don't understand myself most of the time. But here are some observations I've made during this whole "trip"...

MORNING SICKNESS

1. Most of the time I just want to stay in bed, or wake up late. BUT....I also don't push it because when I do so, I feel more tired and nauseated.
2. First few times I noticed that I'm nauseated is just about a few minutes after waking up and standing. It was really a hard time. I couldn't read the bible so well without feeling really vomit-ty.
3. First 2 or 3 weeks of my morning sickness episodes, I always always to keep everything in. Yeah, yucky. But I was thinking I didn't want to just lose all the things I managed to eat and drink during the first half of the day. Oh how I was very wrong.
4. The more I kept everything in, the sicker I felt. The vomit-ty feeling stayed with me throughout the day! Sometimes even at night, so technically I can't call it morning sickness anymore. It was a whole day event. And my husband and myself termed it as "the baby is playing with bubbles".
5. The more baby played with the bubbles, the more I felt the urge to finally let it go. And voila, one morning I just went straight to the bathroom and felt my stomach go inside out. Tom went up to the room so he won't hear anything. ;)
6. After that, I almost always set appointments with our lobby toilet once in the morning and once in the afternoon for one straight week. Today, luckily, no episodes yet. Yipee!

YUCKY SMELLS

1. After answering curious people that I still haven't found any odor or smell annoying yet (except for those I already do, I have a very sensitive sense of smell even before I got pregnant), it all started. I couldn't stand the smell of our shampoo, conditioner, body lotion, facial wash, etc. All of which were organic and smelled of fruits. I just can't stand it so we had to buy new ones. 
2. I absolutely hate the smell of raw meat and fish. I can't even stay near the meat section of the grocery store long enough to pick meat. My stomach just does somersaults.
3. I now hate the smell of my own deodorant. lol!
4. If you're Pinoy, your familiar with Mang Inasal. I can't even pass by their resto without feeling crazy. Same thing with the smells from all roasted chicken stands and outlets. Grrr!
5. Our office smells weird. And I can't help but notice that I feel cramped and gasping for air everytime I'm there.
6. I also cannot be near dried fish that's not yet cooked. Especially when it's still on the frying pan.
7. There's also something about tomato sauce and garlic together. There are some types of spaghetti recipes that I can't devour now because of a distinct smell.
8. Same goes with some viands with sauces and still, that smell I can't describe.
9. Milk. Something that my husband is scolding me for. I can't help it! The smell and the memory of the taste of milk just makes me weak and vomit-ty. Same goes with some fruits like mango, ripe mango, I think.

SOME GOOD THINGS

1. Something that calms down my tummy is the combination of soy sauce, vinegar and chili. Yummy.
2. Kamias with salt.
3. Singkamas with vinegar and salt.
4. Steamed rice. The ones you find in Dimsum restos/stores, it's a rice in a bowl swimming in some kind of sauce that has pork and peas.
5. Beef chowfan (of course, from Chowking) with siomai or lumpiang shanghai and vegetable soup (which Tom also loves).
6. Meat, for it to be appealing to me, should already be cooked when I see it. Also I shouldn't see or smell it while its cooking. :)
7. Fries and vanilla ice cream. Plain vanilla ice cream.
8. Smell of coke. Just because I can't drink it. Hohum.
9. kwek kwek. Or hard boiled quail eggs, peeled, and coated with orange-y flour and then deep fried. With it's sauce of course, vinegar cooked with onions and other spices.
10. Iced tea. Any kind of iced tea.
11. Chocolate or chocolate milk drinks. Also soya milk I like.
12. Meat roll with ketchup. Meat roll here is like baked siopao.
13. and of course... Chocolate!

So far, that's it. At least for now...  ;)

And oh, before I forget. The baby is fine. His, or her, heartbeat is now normal. So far there are no immediate concerns based on the last ultrasound. So far, we're both generally doing well... Thanks everyone for the prayers!  :)

What Really Happened?

I actually don't have any idea. And I'm actually worried right now since the two doctors that examined me offers two different views on what happened to me.

It was Saturday morning, and as usual, I went to the bathroom to unload my bladder. I noticed a little discoloration and when I looked at the toilet paper, it was red. Good thing I'm not so much into panicking so I changed clothes, went back and lay down, got my phone and asked Tom to call. I then asked the Finance Controller here to refer to me anyone who can go with us to a hospital so I can be checked.

It was a good thing also that I'm currently in another location, employees here are easier to deal with and will give you support as much as you need especially in "emergency" cases. The property lent us their van for our disposal and the company nurse Theresa accompanied us until everything was done.

First we went to Davao Medical School Foundation where I was initially checked by Dr Amelia Vega. I underwent I.E. and she said I was indeed pregnant and yes there was blood inside that has slowly seeped out. She diagnosed it as "threatened abortion" and recommended I get scanned as soon as possible. Dr Vega said I can have my ultrasound in Ricardo Limso Medical Center, and she will wait in her clinic there to interpret the results and tell me what to do next. She also gave me a presciption for Dydrogesterone (Duphaston) and Folic Acid. She prescribed dydrogesterone because the spotting/bleeding may have just been caused by implantation bleeding and taking duphaston will help restore luteal function, thereby decreasing the possibility of an abortion/miscarriage, and folic acid as vitamins.

So my first ultrasound scan was not at all enjoyable. The sonologist was such a pain-in-the-backside, she's so used to seeing cases that may be near-death that she matter-of-factly tells all her patients that they're almost dying or if they're pregnant, that they are NOT pregnant and that they just have a huge cyst that requires medical attention. Oh I hated her. Dr R (I edited her name so I won't be in trouble). She's the sonologist from hell. As I listened to her I expected the worst.

First she kept on asking me if I had regular periods. Even if you kept on telling her yes, she still will insist that no, you may not be regular. Here's a translation of all the other things she said:

"Oh look, here's the gestational sac, but there's no baby. Maybe it didn't push through. Are you sure you're pregnant? When did you check? How did you check? Did you just buy those things from a drugstore? Are you sure you peed everything before this scan? You go and pee again, because if you already peed everything and this is not your bladder, then this is a cyst. A very big one. Yeah, this is a cyst."

So I went out and forced myself to pee because the sonologist from hell is now telling me I have a humongous  cyst inside my thing. Hmm. So I went back.

"You peed already? Are you sure? Let's see again. Yeah, it's a cyst alright. Look, it's so big. Really big. have I seen your left ovary yet? Ok. Wait. Hmm. Yep, it's a cyst."

Damn her, I never heard of the gestational sac again because she kept on repeating I have a cyst. And inside my mind, isn't that cyst supposed to be normal for pregnant people? Because from what I've read it's called the corpus luteum. So I was told to wait a few more minutes outside the sonogram area for my printed ultrasound results.

Again, she's a snologist from hell. Because her report just reads:

Transvaginal scan shows a normal size anteverted (means normal) uterus with no myometrial lesions. There is a beginning gestational sac-like structure seen at the upper endometrial pole (12.4mm) by mean sac diameter, approximately less than 4 weeks AOG (age of gestation). No yolk sac nor embryonic pole is seen yet.

The right ovary is normal in size and echotexture.

A thick (0.4cm) walled cystic structure is seen anterolateral to the uterine corpus measuring 8.9 x 8.7 x 6.9 cm which could be a corpus luteum cyst vs a benign pathologic cyst.

There is no free fluid in the cul de sac.

Final Impression:  * anteverted uterus   *early intrauterine pregnancy approx 4 weeks AOG  *no yolk sac  *no embryonic pole yet  *no subchorionic hemorrhage  *cervix is long and closed  *normal right ovary  *cystic left ovary as described

**Cul-de-sac, aside from being any "blind pouch or cavity that is closed at one end," is used specifically to refer to the rectouterine pouch (the pouch of Douglas), an extension of the peritoneal cavity between the rectum and back wall of the uterus. (source)**


See? everything almost sounds far better than how she talked to me while poking a stick with a camera inside me.

So we went back to Dr Vega, I told her how I hated the sonologist because she really sounded like I was dying. Anyway she said that I should take a rest, no strenuous activities, no contact, take my vitamins and the meds and that I should observe myself for a week until I get back to Cebu. And once I'm in Cebu, I should immediately contact an ob-gyn and ask for another ultrasound scan to check on the pregnancy. Since the implications of another bleeding episode would mean that the pregnancy has terminated itself, meaning I miscarried. She also said that if we consider everything to be just normal,  my ovulation may have just been delayed, so the embryo's development is likewise delayed compared to our counting of how old it should already be. Otherwise, what may have happened is that the embryo did not continue to develop, only the sac was able to position itself, but no further development occurred and the body may later expel it and is therefore a miscarriage.

Below are photos of the scans:

Right ovary

Another shot of the right ovary

Left Ovary

Left ovary again.

the gestational sac

Another look at the gestational sac.

So there they are, and that's the story. To all concerned, just pray for the baby and it's proper development. Stop gossiping about bleeding and that I was rushed to the hospital or that I was in a serious condition, because you can ask anyone I'm with that day, I wasn't at all in a SERIOUS condition. I didn't bleed to death; I didn't miscarry and it's not even confirmed yet so stop commenting that  it's "sayang" because instead of us being comforted, it's already getting annoying. We'll tell you whenever whatever is confirmed so just pray. But let me take note here that we really appreciate the comments, messages and calls confirming or trying to confirm the details and telling us the they are praying for us and for the pregnancy. Forgive me for being a b*tch about it, but it's myself and a pregnancy we're dealing with so for heaven's sake people, be optimistic humans.

Formally Welcoming A New Member of the Family

Yes, you're thinking quite straightly. But may not be interpreting correctly though. lol!

This is just to follow suit on Tom's facebook announcement that he has just formally turned into a father-to-be. "Formally" because the first 2 tests we did were just over-the-counter testing kits and we wanted a more formal way of being confirmed so we went to Hi-Precision to get tested. I'll upload some more pictures of the kits and Tom's excitement when they become available for upload.

I was a bit worried too because I couldn't feel that I was in the mood for sharing urine samples, but heck, Tom gave me 3 cups of water just so I can go through with it already.

After 2 hours, we went back to the lab and got the results, the releasing person was all smiles with her congratulatory releasing of the paper that said it was POSITIVE. And so started Tom's shouting and smiling while driving along the roads of Cebu City going back to Ken's house. He was going almost ridiculously berserk.

So anyway, to cut it short, I guess today, I'm on my 4th week when the method of computation used is based on the day of conception or the "actual" fetal age of the baby. If you want to try this out, you can get the conception date and other details by using this Due Date Calculator and then inputing that date into this Weekly Pregnancy Calculator to determine how far along you are.

I haven't gone to an OB yet and I haven't bought any pre-natal supplements or vitamins. All I'm taking now is Anmum. I accept donations too. Hahaha! The OB should be Cebu-based and affordable too.

Do you have any recommendations or suggestions?   ;)