Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It's Time to Break it Off

Have you seen an episode of House lately? Where the only solution to prevent death is just to cut off a body part like a finger, a hand or a foot? This situation of cutting off or breaking off is not only applicable to medical situations, but also to a person's personal life.

Sometimes, we tend to be so involved in something, a hobby or a vice, that we are blinded by how we feel or how we would want to see the situation and not how it really is. There are times when the only way to know what's really happening is to ask somebody else. We may have those gut feelings, hunches if I may say so, especially for us women where our instincts play such a vital role. But what if it involves ourself and the person we love most?

Hanging on to a person just because is not such a good idea. Sure, you may have shared more than first love, or more than 5 or 6 years, but I really don't think that is reason enough, especially if it's already hurting you. Sometimes, a little pain helps us to wake up, sudden jolts of reality are helpful, especially if we have already been eaten up by emotions that we now think are quite "hazy". Talking to someone else helps, someone that is not biased and can maintain an objective view of the situation even if you're close friends or if she's your mother who would most likely say, "I told you so."

There are no easy ways to solve the puzzle but a little help won't hurt. These people, who sometimes are the ones we did not expect at all to be of any help, are often times the key to opening another door. And at one time or another, letting go is the only way to do it.

Take for example a friend of mine. She and her boyfriend have been steady for what, 7 years or more, but hell, the guy started acting weird lately. I myself have been a witness. He started being a little playful with my friend, coy, annoying, later on a little cold. A few weeks later, they started seeing less of each other, lesser calls, lesser messages. Aside from that I started noticing that the usual playfulness of the guy with other women started growing stronger. At one time or another there will be this one girl who'd stay in their apartment for several hours at a time. Yeah right, watching tv, using the computer, using the phone, eating, fooling around. Yep, that's the right word - fooling around. To make things short, it happened. One day, my friend asked me what I knew, so I told her in the most factual way the facts that I knew. It turns out she has already have had hunches for several months already but just ignored it, telling herself that her boyfriend is just super "friendly". Friendly he is.

Now, she's trying her best to maintain a whole world of distance from the guy, but she still maintained contact with his family with who she has been close with ever since. She still talks to me, even confides a little. And I know she's hurting. Screw the guy - and the other girl too. It's not because my friend is my friend, but because looking at the situation from my point of view is not pretty at all. Sure, my friend may have lots of her own screw-ups which I may not be aware of, maybe she was just tame enough or trying to be a very formal kill-joy girlfriend, or she may be a tinge more un-funny and tries too much to make her ex-boyfriend grow-up (Which is sometimes the usual case for us, we try to make our guys grow up. Relax girl, they really are late-bloomers! They have a study on this! But they'll grow up you know, they're not Peter Pan.). But heck, he could have at least been not-stupid-enough to just telll her he doesn't wanna be with her anymore and that along the way he found someone else to pick on, and that all the years they have been together is now a different story!

Oh, well, I can't do anything about it, can I? At the end of the day, it's their situation, and I can only hope that every goes ok...

1 comment:

  1. Great post, and I like your House comparison, at least your friend didn't waste another seven years with this guy. Everything happens for a reason, wether we see it at the time or not. Sometimes break ups can be the best thing for us in the long run.

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