Because....
These new staff are just f****** irritating. They just don't seem to know what to do! I did NOT really want them on board because their respective interview results were just not satisfactory enough but my supervisor, for the love of God, wanted them in.
And now, this one guy, who always brings tissue paper whenever he goes to the restroom (are you gay?!) always asks stupid questions. Questions that anyone who has tried auditing at least once in his short life can answer. I believe he absolutely thinks that if he asked me what to do and I gave him the answers, in other words, spoon-fed his lame ass, he wouldn't have problems later when I check his work.
Oh really?! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!
I'm not senile, I can remember what things I've discussed in detail, what comments and tips I've given, what reading materials I gave, what other sorts of prep I told them to do, I've exhausted my patience showing them how to do one audit at a time, step by f****** step. And still!?! This...person...isn't sure what to do and keeps on asking these irritatingly stupid questions!
I'm sorry, but I'm not your mom to spoon-feed you. If your teachers gave you everything during college so you can pass their subjects, be called a graduate and pass your freaking board exams, well, I'm different. We went to the same university, that's why I KNOW what kind of education you should have gotten. We dealt with more or less the same teachers, that's why I KNOW what kind of people gave you your undergrad arsenal. I took the same board exams you took and passed it too, that's why I KNOW that you can manage to use your brain for thinking.
For pete's sake man, use your f****** brain! And while trying to do that, please bear in mind, tattoo it in your skin if you need to, I can see past your antics, I've been in this department for more than 3 years already, I've dealt with even more difficult auditees that what you're supposedly having difficulty with right now, colleagues, even supervisors, so take my word for it, I'M NOT STUPID!
And please, stop talking to yourself, stop using the other staff's stuff, stop re-arranging the office furniture, the bulletin board, etc..stop poking your nose on things your not supposed to meddle with! Because if I wanted any of that crap, I'd do it myself.
