Fascination with Art and Being Artistic

Since I got a small chalk board installed on the wall of our patio when I was still about 3 or 4 years old, I had this idea that I can draw, and by draw I meant draw – sketches that resembled an art form. I have tried copying pictures from encyclopedias, from cartoons, from comic strips, from story books, even tried copying real things like a store room, a wall, a flower, everything. And it has been a long while since I last drew something.

Some of the sketches I have made in my lifetime are either lost in storage or with friends (I sometimes give my sketches as a form of gifts). But in the last few months of my mundane existence, and by watching my boyfriend’s own fascination with photography and editing, the artistic side of me has tried coming out of the bland shell it has lived in while being hands down in college. The funny thing is, I don’t have a very good eye in making artistic sketches or paintings, I definitely think that I don’t have the talent. I can’t even make a decent abstract painting! I don’t know how to take beautiful or interesting pictures, nor edit existing ones into a lifelike representation of the real thing. All I can do well without much fuss is to write. I don’t like my handwriting so much, so I’d rather do it through a computer. I don’t like showing it personally to people and waiting for their reactions, so I tried blogging, because by this, I get to write about anything and everything, air out my frustrations, happiness, excitement, annoyance, angst, and every other emotion in between, use nice formal words or semi-foul language and still get away with it, and get several readers from all over the world reading my entries without ever shelling out big bucks. I can write long stories, essays, letters to the public, or just a one-liner, and nobody can get me fired for it! Good enough deal for me.

I may have caused a “scandal” or two just because of how I wrote; some say I am born an Amazon, from the bloodlines of Wonder Woman. Hmmm, it’s nice to think of it, like these heroines are such good-lookers, right? Anyway, these people say I’m so vocal with how I felt or what I was thinking of at a particular moment that sometimes, because of the emotions, I get carried away and so say or write things that I tend to regret several minutes after publishing it, saying it, or sending it to the person involved. And believe me, I have been reprimanded several times before, and I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of my being like this. Because for me, if I try to stop myself, I’m inhibiting a part of myself from showing, hence, all the built-up emotions or thoughts may somehow blow my top and just explode and I’ll be regretting more than I can handle. Although I am still very grateful to the people who read through my entries and say that it’s okay, or that say they are avid readers because of how freely I can express myself, and still sound like it’s the most obvious thing to do or how I can get to a point and still sound very literary, or just that they like how I try to express myself through writing. I even thought of making my own novel. But I don’t have a plot yet. Hmmm, hope I can have a good topic already and start blogging on chapter by chapter and have you give me the basic copy editing, and then become the youngest novel best-seller. Ahahaha! Hmmm… I can’t even publish a blog entry at least once a day! Anyway, there’s no harm in trying.