Thursday, November 15, 2007

Running Out of Happy Thoughts


Hmmm, last night I realized as I stared blankly at this wooden make-shift bench in front of my door - I'm running out of happy thoughts. Happy thoughts? What the hell are they for? This started when a friend of mine advised me to just think of happy thoughts to excape being in the speedy downhill path of depression. Scary huh? But that advice proved to be one that came straight from heaven. It has actually helped me rediscover my interest in writing and expressing whatever it is that I'm thinking and feeling - saved me the cost of getting professional help. And I get to practice using the language again which I managed to use less and less in the workplace or in my room. (Although sometimes I feel more comfortable talking to myself in English)

Anyway, going back, yep, I'm running out of happy thoughts, and watching all these series(es) on tv can't give me a fresh supply. And I just can't turn off this uncanny ability to play and replay things in my mind - vividly, I might add - 'coz I just can't. Now I can picture out my conscience screaming frantically and hysterically waving her arms in the air trying to get my attention and saying,"For Pete's sake girl, leave it alone or you'll die before you reach 40!"

Ooops, time to go to work. Enough of the happy thoughts. People just can't have everything they want and be happy. There will always be a compromise.

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