FINDING FULFILLMENT IN WORK
Maybe because I'm a crammer. I live for cramming. Been doing this since high school, carried it over to college, and prolly have it embedded in my system already. I procrastinate up 'til I need to burn all my energy to catch a deadline. Maybe it's the rush, and the feeling of success when I finish the task. Which only means one thing. I'm not passionate enough with my work. Shame. Shame. Shame.
Yes it's a shame for Christians like me. To not be working like the best steward I should be. Yes. How could I be entrusted with big things when I waste my time and effort doing nothing and busting my brains to cram for the small things.
Because I don't find it fulfilling anymore. I don't know when I also felt so fulfilled with my work since so far, I have been looking at it as a means of survival. Means to fund my hunger, my need for shelter, my want of a comfortable life, my whims. Well, it has changed a little over time. Added reasons are my daughters. For their survival and for their comfortable life. Fulfillment still out of the equation.
Conclusion: I have to find something. Something that will make me feel fulfilled. More than just being told I need to work like Jesus is my boss. Because honestly, it only made me feel guilty. But not enough to push me to work harder, or be proud of what I'm doing.