Love & Life - Oh Really?

Love and Life by Albert Einstein

Sometimes in our relentless effort to find the person we love, we fail to recognize and appreciate the people who love us. We miss out on so many beautiful things simply because we allow ourselves to be enslaved by our own selfish concerns.
- this is possible. but i dont entirely believe that trying to find the person we love is ALL selfish. although there are aspects of this process that will tend to lean on the selfish side, i still think we should give the benefit of the doubt. kawawa naman eh...


Go for the man of deeds and not for the man of words, for you will find rewarding happiness, not with the man you love but with the man who loves you more.
- but still, hearing the words will give us the kilig factor once in a while, di ba?
- umm, before i was not really in favor of choose the one who loves you more, but nowadays, i'm starting to believe it's better to do so.

The best lovers are those capable of loving from a distance far enough to allow the person to grow but never too far to feel the love within your being.
- ano daw? ah, ok... yung nagbibigay ng space for growth and not the one who'll suffocate you. ok, gets na...

To let go of someone doesn't mean you have to stop loving, it only means that you allow that person to find his own happiness without expecting him to come back. Letting go is not just setting the other person free, but is also setting yourself free from all the bitterness, hatred, and anger that you keep in your heart.
- ah, that's why it's so hard to do...very few get past this stage... because there will always remain this "kurot" everytime you see, talk with, or bump into the other person, whether he/she is with another person or alone

Do not let the bitterness take away your strength and weaken your faith, and never allow pain to dishearten you; but rather let yourself grow with wisdom in bearing it.
- this i'd agree with. Amen Einstein!

You may find peace in loving someone from a distance not expecting something in return. But be careful, for this can sustain life but can never give enough room for us to grow. We can all survive with just beautiful memories of the past, but real peace and happiness come only with open acceptance of what reality is today.
- eto magulo. kanina, maganda raw yung loving from a distance kasi merong room to grow. ngayon, e hindi na hindi na advisable yung merong room to grow?! teka ha... magulo pa rin. i think... parang when you let go of the person and you keep on loving him/her from a distance and you do not expect him/her to come back, it's ok, it will help you survive for a while pero destructive naman pag tumagal because it will not help you to learn from the experience and you'll end up getting stuck with the beautiful memories instead of making new ones. you will be happier and more at peace if you learn to accept the facts whole-heartedly. (para namang horoscope ang tunog nito... **Aries... malalaglag ka sa silya mo at sasakit ang iyong tyan katatawa...**hehe...)

There comes a time in our lives when we chance upon someone so nice and beautiful and we just find ourselves so intensely attracted to that person. This feeling soon becomes a part of our everyday lives and eventually consumes our thoughts and actions. The sad part of it is when we begin to realize that this person feels nothing more for us than just a friendship.
- parang easy attraction, pero one-sided. more on you misinterpreted the goodness, sweetness and thoughtfulness of the other. friends lang pala kayo para sa kanya. **We're just friends... Showbiz!

We start our desperate attempt to get noticed and be closer, but in the end our efforts are still unrewarded and we end up being sorry for ourselves.
- hehe, dali nito... - busted!!!

You don't have to forget someone you love. What you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. Believe me, you would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.
- why does it seem that this thought is haunting me?!

Don't let your heart run your life, be sensible and let your mind speak for itself.
- yep, either way, you still get in trouble.

Listen not only to your feelings but to reason as well. Always remember that if you lose someone today, it means that someone better is coming tomorrow. If you lose love that doesn't mean you failed in love.
- at least the last two statements are truthful. believable to say the least. and when talking o yourself, listen to all the voices going around your head, even if masyadong sarcastic or harsh yung iba. it'll turn out that they're better advisers... :) na pwedeng hindi mo rin sundin.. hehe

Cry if you have to, but make sure that tears wash away the hurt and the bitterness that the past has left with you. Let go of yesterday and love will find its way back to you. And when it does, pray that it may be the love that will stay and last a lifetime.
- huhuhu... ok, fine. crying is a little therapeutic nga naman...

There are two ways to live your life:
One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- wow, hevi...

There is no mistake so painful that love cannot forgive. no past so bitter that love cannot accept.
- martyr naman, pero it's always possible.

And no love so little that we cannot start all over with.
- true. or false. i still have to find out for myself.

Let's Take a Walk...

Hard as Stone, Soft as Cotton

I found this in Nelsh's multiply site, when I finished reading it, I almost broke down crying, buti nalang na-conscious ako sa malaking glass window sa harap ko kasi kitang-kita ako ng lahat ng tao pag ngumawa nalang ako bigla dito sa office....

She received this through an email and posted it in her site... Please continue reading...


---o0o---


My boyfriend and I live together for years and he is an Engineer by profession. I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three months of courtship and now, two years engaged, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My boyfriend, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our relationship has disheartened me about love. One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted to break up with him. "Why?" he asked, shocked. "I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times.

My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can't even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : "Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow.... "
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....



My dear,

"I would not pick that flower for you, but please
allow me to explain the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I
continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. ..

and as I continue on reading...

"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk
bottle and loaf of bread....

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...



---o0o---

Awww....

Earthquake! Quick! Run to the Nearest Padlocked Door!

Hahahah... okay, go ahead and read the title again. Yep, you're not hallucinating, that's exactly what I posted - "Go to the nearest padlocked door." Crazy, right?

I just couldn't imagine how 40+ year olds who have been in the working class for almost 10 years or maybe more, or how managers that are presumed to have relevantly high IQs, even think of going to an exit that is clearly locked! Given the capacity to think even on times when people are all panicky because of an earthquake, the fact that our offices are located in the basement of a 20-floor building, and the fact that the company spends time and resources to conduct internal Basic Safety and Security Trainings for the employees, the most stupid idea you can EVER ever think of at this very moment is to go to the farther exit that is CLEARLY and is also KNOWN to have been padlocked for quite a long time already. I said farther because there is one exit that is not locked and is intended for emergencies that is nearer to our offices than the locked one. Hohum, i never thought people in this side of the city can be so stupid.

Ok, so benefit of the doubt:
1. What if they were already panicking, as in to the highest level of panic, and they weren't thinking clearly anymore? Hmmm. I don't know, because in my opinion, there always is one person in the group who remains clear-headed. That's a fact. In every emergency, there seems to be this divine thing that at least one of the people involved thinks clearly and rationally. Aside from that, the said earthquake was not really very strong. Although it was strong enough to leave the tables swaying a bit, it wasn't strong enough to make you go hysterical.
2. What if the clear-headed one chose to remain quiet and just let the panicked one decide because she seemed more sure? - Then they're in deep sh*t. Hahaha. And they look a lot more stupid than I thought they were.

So facts are, yes, there was an earthquake a while ago, that's about 12:30pm, right after lunch, and when we came out of the canteen to go to our office and check on things, we found about eight people in the hallway just opposite the LOCKED door, waiting. So we asked them if they felt the earthquake and what the hell they're doing in the hallway. They said yes, they felt the earthquake, and they were there because just in case it felt that the upper floors were about to cave in, they can run to the door and head for safety. And with raised eyebrows and a very skeptic and sarcastic tone, I asked: "Ha? Diha? Locked man na! Unsaon ninyo pag-gawas?"... [Ha? There? That's locked! How can you go out?] ... And I saw them all look at the door and realize that the door was really locked. You can actually imagine putting a slow motion effect and some sounds to their realization and a cartoon being inserted and laughing out loud. That's how weird they looked. And so we walked past them until one of them bravely admitted: "Bitaw, locked bitaw nah."... {"Yeah, that's right. It's locked."} Then they dispersed and went back to the office.

This event will stay in my memory for a week or so and be a joke for a little longer than a week, maybe even become word of mouth. And the panicky person will be the butt of the joke. Poor thing. So evil of me.

Usapang Lalake Pare...

Nakakatuwa 'to, Guys, is this true? do you really have conversations like this? As in? Share your thoughts naman, so we can be enlightened... {Charot..}

Saw this post from Teri {thanks nga pala ha} and found it really fascinating. how I wish I can witness a real conversation that runs like this. Hehehe... Minsan lang kasi iparinig ng guys sa mga girls yung ganitong mga saloobin nila... Usually pag lasing na and heartbroken...

**************

*grabe. usapang lalake*
*sindi ng yosi*
*hithit*
*buga*

Musta na, pare? Ako, okay lang. Eto. Nagmumuni-muni. Nag-iisip. Minsan talaga may mga bagay na hindi ko maintindihan. Ewan ko ba.

*hinga ng malalim*

Bakit ba ganun pare, ilang beses ko na pinag-aralan pero lagi na lang lumalabas na parang kahit 'sang anggulo mo tingnan, hindi nagiging patas para sa mga lalake ang ilang bagay pagdating sa pagmamahal.

*tingin sa stars*

Minsan naiisip ko, alam kaya ng mga babae ang hirap ng lalake na gumawa ng first move para magtapat ng pagmamahal? E yung hirap na dinadaanan sa panliligaw at pagsuyo sa mahal nya? Ang feeling ng masaktan pag nabasted?

Malamang-lamang siguro, hindi ano. Wala naman yata silang alam sa mga paghihirap naten e. Ang alam lang ata nila e mamili, manakit, at magsaya. Tingin mo?

*tingin sa malayo*

Lagi naman ganun. Una pa lang, lalake na ang naghihirap. Hassle saten ang panliligaw pero bago pa yun, kung ano pang diskarte ang gagawin naten para masabi naten sa kanila na mahal natin sila. Alam kaya nila yun? Mahirap magsabi na mahal mo na yung babae, diba?

Tapos liligawan pa naten. Patutunayan na mahal nga sila. Susuyuin to-the-max.Maghahatid sa bahay, tutulungan, sasabayan, palalamunin, pagtyatyagaan, lahat na. Kulang na lang e pagsilbihan mo nang walang sahod.

At ano ang kapalit? Well, depende sa trip nila.

Oo tol, sa trip lang nila. Wala silang pake kesehodang mahal natin talaga sila. Basta ang alam nila, pag di nila tayo trip, isang malaking HINDE ang makukuha naten, kahit umiyak pa tayo ng dugo o lumuhod sa mga asing buu-buo. Para lang silang namimili ng damit na di man lang sinusukat bago ayawan. Kaya kahit mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal natin, sorry tayo.

Hindi nila alam kung mahal mo sila. Kailangan mong maabot ang kanilang mga standards o uuwi ka lang na bad trip, iiling-iling, at minsan, luhaan. Wala tayong magagawa, marami silang alibi.

"Hindi pa 'ko ready eh.."
"Sorry pero I think we should just be friends.."
"Ha? Uhhmm..nagpapatawa ka ba? Hahahaha.."
"Better luck next time na lang muna, okay lang?"
"Give me a decade. Pag-iisipan ko muna.."
"Para lang kitang kapatid e.."

Yaddah yaddah.

Isang malaking pagsasaklob ng langit at lupa 'yon para saten.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*
*lagok*
*lunok*

At hindi lang 'yon tol. Sa pre-relationship stage pa lang yon. Pag sinagot na nila tayo, satin pa
rin ang hassle. Tayo daw ang mga lalake, tayo ang hahawak ng relasyon. Tayo ang aayos kung may gulo; tayo ang dapat magpapakabait; tayo ang magtatyaga; tayo ang magiging devoted at faithful; tayo, tayo tayo.

Sila? Ummm? Teka, isipin ko. Ayun. Sila ang magsasabi kung anong oras kayo dapat magmeet; sila ang magtetext ng mga mushy at kabalbalang texts; sila ang magdedemand sayo ng kung anu-ano; sila ang magbabawal; sila ang magsasabi kung kelan ka dapat mag-shave, kung kelan ka pwedeng tumawag sa bahay nila, kung kelan sila di dapat bad tripin dahil meron sila, at kung kelan ka korni.

Ewan. Ganun ata talaga.

*kuha ng bote ng beer*
*lagok*
*lunok*

Hindi pa yun tapos pare, dahil dapat tayo ang bahala kung ano ang magiging takbo ng relasyon. Pag maganda, edi okay. Pag may problema, kasalanan naten. Haay buhay. Minsan talaga kung tutuusin sakit sila ng ulo. Kaya lang mahal naten kaya di na natin iniintindi yun.

*hinga ng malalim*

Pero alam mo tol, feeling ko mas sincere pa tayo magmahal sa kanila. Alam mo yun, iba tayo magmahal e. Hindi lang parang laru-laro lang. Seryoso. At kung magmahal man tayo, lubus-lubusan. Mas mature. Hindi yung parang pambata lang gaya nila na kesyo magseselos-selos, iiyak-iyak, iina-inarte, dadradrama, at kung anu-ano pa. Hindi lang kababawan. Ka-mushyhan. Kababaihan. Iba tayo pag nagmahal.

*hinga ng malalim*
*tingin sa malayo ulit*

At ito pa ang pinakamasaklap.

*singhot*

Ang ending ng relasyon. Sa mga panahong 'to, either sawa na sila, hindi na tayo trip, may nahanap na silang better saten, o kaya they need a f*cking space and time muna.

Bad trip no? Wala na naman tayong choice. Sila ang masusunod. At ano pa ang kasamang hassle don? Syempre wasak na ang imahe naten. Tayo ang lalabas na may kasalanan. Na playboy. Na nagpapaiyak.

*iiling*

Tayo siyempre ang mga antagonist at sila yung mga bidang inaapi at parang mga pusang iiyak-iyak. Ang ending: mag-ooffer sila ng "friendship" kuno matapos tayong pagsawaan, lahat ng gifts naten nasa kanila, sawi tayo sa pag-ibig, "player" na ang image naten, at higit sa lahat, mag-iisip kung papaano ipagpapatuloy ang buhay. Maiiwan tayong tulala, mag-iisip kung saan nagkamali, mamomroblema sa pag-aadjust sa pagiging single, at di na naman makakatulog.

Haay buhay. Ang hirap maging lalake. Lagi ka na lang naiiwan sa ere. Ano? Hindi ka na nagsalita? In-love ka no? Ako, kamusta? Eto.Yoyosi-yosi. Bubuntong-buntong hininga. Titingin-tingin sa bituin. Mumuni-muni. Lalagok-lagok ng alak.

Ang mga babae talaga, oo!

Me and my Migraines

I'm in the office right now, still suffering from an overnight case of migraine. Yep, that's right, overnight. This f*ckin' pain started last night and hasn't left me until now - and it's already 10:53 am! Crazy head! Grrrhhh!

As annoying as it can be, as I'm typing this, the throbbing lessens. So does this mean I have to type away my day so that I wouldn't feel too much of the migraine? Oooohhh, this is driving me crazy! I really wouldn't say it's because of the computer monitor because I'm actually using a laptop. So there's not much of that radiation. But I think my eyes are screwed up again. Maybe I really have to have my eyes checked. Hmmm... But I think that can wait, don't wanna drop a few bucks for that as of now. {it's throbbin' again...I hate it...}

Maybe it's my mellow music playing also that causes the throbbing? or.... or...... whatever.....

I wanna sleep but I can't because number 1: I'm in the office; number 2: If I lie down, my head hurts; and number 3: it's just that my head hurts.

Birth and Death

Today is All Saints' Day around the world, and in my world, it's my brother's birthday.

Weird huh? How two opposite things can be related and be celebrated on the same day. One is related to death, and the other... well, obviously, to birth.

I'd have to admit, I miss my family. Really. Just wanna make me cry. Duh. I haven't actually seen them in almost a year. The last time I was with them was last Christmas. Just imagine. I know my dad misses me too, 'coz he just can't stop reminding me to go home this Christmas. Anyway, for sure, I'll be home for Christmas - I basically don't have a reason to stay here in Cebu.

Anyway, I also have a loved one who has already gone to the other side of this universe - my uncle, Tito Amiel. He died of something related to his liver. What we all knew was that he had liver serosis {i hope i have the spelling right}. And they just didn't pay much attention until one day, he just went away. That was during my review for the board exam, August 22 (of 2005) if I'm not mistaken. I was in Manila then and I remember feeling really empty and helpless, and I just cried and cried and really got frustrated that I wanted to strangle someone because I knew they just didn't do all that they could, not even when my grandma was already pleading for help. I hated that day, and will continue to. I hated several people that day and swore that I will never be like them. Swore that as much as I can, and as much as I possibly can, I will never leave my family behind nor disregard their needs especially when it's related to their health. I swore I'll never be like them. I still stand by that vow. Although the feelings have subsided as time passed, I still remember vividly how I reacted and felt when I heard that my Tito was gone. I just wanted to fly home and burn down their house! Grrrhhh!!!

Hmph. Nonetheless, I just finished editing my Multiply layout. I got really bored at home and even if it's a holiday, I'm not writing this post from my office. I just felt I was cooped in my room and wanted to be free and yet be away from people. So, I went to the office. At least I have free internet access here. And I can also edit some pictures that I use in my layouts through my laptop. Hmmm.

Think I've got to go now. I have an 8:30 show to catch in studio 23. Hehehe. Studio 23 has lots of good shows. I'm an avid fan of these american series like Grey's Anatomy, Kyle XY, Smallville (Tom Welling is sooooo super cute!), and several others, and studio 23 has reruns of these for us folks who still cannot afford cable tv. Some of the episode though are labeled "Fresh" meaning, they're not so delayed from the actual run abroad. So there. Have to go!

Mwuah! Have a great long weekend everybody!