Thursday, September 13, 2007

Know the Difference!

INFATUATION:

- is an emotion. Real love is deeper than just emotion. Emotions can’t always be trusted. They will change as circumstances around you change. (For example, when your sick, tired, stressed, fearful, etc.) You are so obsessed with someone you fail to see any faults.

- is insecure. Infatuation gets jealous and unreasonable. Love doesn’t. Infatuation fades with time, separation, or change. Love won’t. You’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that is only true with real love. Being apart will kill infatuation over time, because it must take to survive. When someone else comes along who has more to give, infatuation will switch its attention from an old flame to a new one.

- is fueled by passion and lust. Love runs on respect. Example: David said he loved Kay and wanted to marry her when they graduated from college. Just before their senior year, Kay’s face was scarred in an automobile accident. By Christmas, David broke off the engagement because he said he no longer loved Kay. What David felt wasn’t real love that says, I love you unconditionally, no matter what. It was infatuation that said, I cared because you were…pretty (or sexy, rich, popular, etc.). So I guess this also goes with the situation when one of the partners get fat.. huh?


LOVE:

- is unconditional…someone may have the worst habit in the world, but you love them regardless…you know you’re in love when another’s desires become your desires too…you want the best for another. Love is a commitment to the other person, whether the emotions are there or not. It is a type of devotion that will continue when the emotions aren’t there.

- is a conscious choice to commit (unto death) to honor and cherish the other person and to do what is best for their good (even if what is best is not you in his or her life). This love is not based on what the other person can do for you, but your choice of loving the other person unconditionally. Emotions can enter in, but love is primarily volitional.

- is patient. When you really love someone, you accept them just as they are. Of course, you encourage them to grow, but you love and accept them unconditionally — no strings attached. Real love allows you to be patient with weaknesses and flaws.

- is never jealous. Remember, love gives, it doesn’t take. It wants to share time and attention with others. It allows the one you love the freedom to have other friends and interests apart from you. It’s not possessive.

- is glad when truth wins out. Real love is based on truth and honesty.

- is loyal no matter what the cost. It will always be faithful and stand by the person loved, no matter what.

- always believes. Love is willing to trust. When you really love someone, you’ll believe in her, even when she cannot believe in herself. Again, because there is no fear in love, you trust that person. You’re able to give yourself completely to the relationship.

- always stands it grounds in defending the other person. Love is protective (without being jealous), and will continue to love even when it’s not returned.


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