Tuesday, April 22, 2008

3-Minute Management Course

Most of the time, we encounter managers, CEOs, even Presidents who do not know how to manage their people, resources, or their very own homes.

It's a good thing I checked my email today, it offered a solution short and quick enough yet frankly "dropped" the idea right on my lap. The 3-MInute Management Course.

{That is, if you can finish reading it and understand it also all within the span of three minutes! :) }


Lesson One:

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit
saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on
the rabbit and ate it.


Management Lesson:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

___________________________________________________

Lesson Two:


A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to
the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the
energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied
the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him
enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day,
after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top
of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of
the tree.


Management Lesson:

Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

_____________________________________

Lesson Three:


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird
froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying
there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird
lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing himout! He laid there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him.


Management Lesson:

(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.

(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!




This ends the three minute management course.. Haha.





1 comment:

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