Someone Like You - the Theory

Have you seen this movie already? I know, some might find the title whimsical because it’s a comedy love story thing, but for people like me, especially us girls, we’d really learn a thing or two about why men behave a certain way in their relationships with women.

So here’s the catch, the story goes like this girl, Jane, played by Ashley Judd, falls for the boyfriend of their boss, he’s named Ray in the movie. So they have an affair going on until the guy says the “I love you” phrase. It turns Jane’s world upside down and of course believes that everything will work out just fine because Ray loves her. So they go about planning to move in together and look for the perfect apartment to move into. Ray says he’ll tell Diane (their boss and Ray’s girlfriend) about them so that they can end their relationship and then he and Jane can go on with theirs.

Jane arranges everything: she tells her landlord that she’s moving out, and so her apartment gets re-rented even before she’s gone, so that means she really should be gone asap. And after a few days, Ray appears in Jane’s office telling her that he already told Diane, and there was not the reaction that he expected, as he said “Diane was very calm about it.” So Jane assumed everything was fine and that they’re good. But soon enough she realizes that she seldom sees Ray, he doesn’t return her calls anymore, the contract for their new apartment never materialized and she had to move out of her own place! Drastic ain’t it? So she decided to meet up with Ray to ask him what happened, and as we expect, the guy has changed his mind. Although he didn’t say that he and Diane were back together (apparently, they really broke up but stupid Ray didn’t tell Jane; Diane and Ray got together only on New Year’s Eve), what he did say was that maybe he and Jane should take a step back from their relationship. Now that’s a darn good reason why you should start throwing plates at guys…. Hehe!

Ok, so this meeting ends up with Jane in tears; then one day she just had this obsession to research about things that affect the natural path of attraction between men and women. She bought books and magazines and journals so that she’ll understand the reasons behind the initial attraction and why these guys tend to just go ahead and leave. A little later along the story, she ends up reading an interesting article in a newspaper wherein the topics is why “Men are Polygamous”. So she reads it, digests it really well, and then when she finally understood, she formulated her own theory – the “Guys are Bulls and Women are Cows” (or something to this effect) Theory.

The Guys are Bulls and Women are Cows theory sort of goes like this (I can’t post the details of it because every tiny details wasn’t mentioned in the movie also…):

Guys are like bulls (male cows). They’re in a barn with several other bulls and cows (the women) and look around for the one cow that they think is going to be the perfect mate. Once found, he lets natural attraction take over – well in our case fellow humans, this is what we call the stage of dating. Guys look for the girl or maybe just accidentally bump on her, they talk a little and then he asks to meet again. So dating begins. They go out, enjoy each other’s company - and since the guy may really want to be with this girl, either because of lust or affection or maybe even because of love, he showers the girl with attention, gifts, flattering words, sweet nothings, and things like that. Ok so the girl gets hooked, and they officially, are a couple.

Next, when the bull has successfully won the attention of his cow, he goes in for the kill (meaning, they mate, ok?). Hmm, guys and girls, go figure.

So after the bull gets his share of excitement, he’d hang around for a while, and a little later, he’d completely leave his cow. Now we’ll term her as the old cow. And it was found out by farmers by observation that bulls don’t go back to the same old cow. They don’t do the same cow twice. Hmm, interesting. Because I know some guys who are actually like this – once they break up with this girl, they don’t go back to them, they sometimes stop communicating with them also, they’re not even “friends”. So for us humans, this part is the heartbreaker. Once the couple has been around for months, or even years, the human nature of guys is to tend to look for new adventures (I’ve realized this to be true and factual and not just some theory of Psychologists or Psychiatrists but by personal experience.). It maybe triggered by the comfort and familiarity between the guy and the girl, or maybe some physical distance that was brought about by work, or some other instances. So the guy carefully looks around for new “cows”, behind his girl’s back of course. And when he sees the new cow, he pursues her, silently or carefully, or even bringing the words “We’re friends” into the picture. So they’re friends. The girlfriend, who’s soon to be the ‘old cow’ may or may not suspect anything about it, she confronts the guy, but of course, it’s denied and the guy just says she’s just a friend or a classmate or a school mate that he met in one school activity or something. And the road to the relationship’s end begins here. You all can relate to this, I know. You’d know the basics of how the break up will come about, so just fill in the blanks, ok?

So by this part, Jane’s theory materializes the idea that Men are Polygamous by nature. Just imagine, by the time this movie was shown, the statistics were that only 5% of men are monogamous, and the other 95% are bulls. And I’ve discovered also that no matter how hard the guy says that he’s faithful and that he’ll never do this to you or that he loves you so much he doesn’t want to hurt you, human nature still dictates, and the polygamous side wins. So how can we girls cope with this?

I have no idea. Yet… But I may formulate my own theory once I’ve obtained the facts to support it. Ciao!