For No Reason at All

I feel tired, even though I really do not know why. I've been like this the whole week. Think I may be having some psychological or psychiatric thing going on.

Hmmm, I'm a little bored with my work like now, if not for the vision of having the ability to slowly pay for my own house in about 10 months, I really would like to resign from this salary-forsaken company. I really think this company should have a labor union - that way, the labor code can be clearly complied with. Hohum. Tragic.

Aside from the lack of employee-benefit satisfaction, another thing happened, the damn IT department restricted access to friendster. So, these friendster-hungry office people are now one website short of their daily tasks. And who else can be so heartless to order such restriction? Hmmm, let's guess. Maybe someone who thinks he's/she's really very very good, but who's now having difficulty having other department heads to follow him/her (para maglibog mo kung baye or laki...) because he/she doesn't stand by his/her word. What he/she puts down on those numerous little Post-its of his/hers are quite different with what you'll hear from him/her when he/she starts speaking - that is, if he/she even says a word during the face-off or the meeting. (matapang lang kasi yun pag di nya kaharap yung ina-away nya... ) Crazy diba? di ka ba naman mahawa dun, ewan nalang.

Hahay... Lapit na end of the office day, pwede nako umuwi or maglagalag kahit san ko gusto... yehey...

Going Under

Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming Deceiving and Bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
(I’m going under)
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under

Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again

I'm going under
Drowing in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through

So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under

Reactions.. (Logically Speaking)

Hehehe. Ok, so I was able to solicit a reaction from one of my readers regarding my previous post. Hmmmm.... (for our foreign readers, "asiwa" is a Filipino term which means to feel awkward)

Yeah, come to think of it, it's kinda awkward, maybe especially for guys to call their exes by their first names, but how come we girls can? I call him by his first name, especially when we're not alone, or in front of other people who knew we were a couple before. But when it's just the two of us talking, then I don't see the need to address him by his first name because I can get his attention by touching his arm or pulling his shirt or just facing him and addressing him face to face. In terms of text messages, I just say my message directly, ummm, no mention of first names also. :)

But the thing is, I can and I do call him by his first name. What I'm bewildered about is why he can't. He seems to just stutter or have extreme difficulty saying my name! It's not very "curse-ish" you know, nor will it jinx him.

:)

Yayay, bebeh... :(

Huhuhu...

I felt like hell last night. It was the first day of the freakin' monthly thing, and as usual, menstrual cramps came like it was invited. Duh.

I didn't take any medication for it, because it really wasn't THAT painful, it's just that the pain came with a certain amount of discomfort that really drives me nuts every month. Hmmm. Annoying.

Anyway, this post also serves as a test post for the cross-posting feature of multiply. I just wanted to try it out.

But it's a fact that I really was nuts last night.

Logically Speaking (blogging...)

Logically speaking, or blogging in this case, if something has been around for a long time already, a person would already be used to it.

Take for example my case with my ex. For all of my readers to know, he still doesn't call me by my first name. If and when he sends me a text message, he doesn't address me by my first name - that's why I posted something previously about being careful with missent messages. What really happened was that I thought the messages were sent to me by mistake, but according to him, he just couldn't make it personal or address me as "cathy". Hmmm. Creepy. Weird. So I was wondering, why the heck couldn't he do it?

Fact is, we have broken up like what, almost six months ago, he has a girlfriend, he has his own life that's separate from mine, and still, he doesn't call me by my first name. He says he still isn't used to calling me by my name, and it sounds weird. So, let me see, if we happen to bump with each other somewhere in about 5 years, will he still call me "Psssst!" or "Huy!" 'coz he can't seem to get himself to call me "Cathy"? That's crazy. After almost six months, why can't you get yourself to call me "Cathy"? My name's not THAT bad. I don't have any other name, well except for Laine (it's Cathy Laine, FYI readers...), I have some other nickname that's far better than "huy" or "hoy", and still. Hmmmm, I'm getting kinda worked up over this, hehehe. Hey, these little things can really get annoying sometimes. I just can't find a valid reason why he can't do it. And it doesn't make me feel any better that he can't call me by my name - it's not "kilig", it's not a let's-bring-back-the-old-times moment, it's well, a I'm-thinking-like-it's-a-"Huh? What the heck?" moment. Ok, don't give me the "rose by any name would smell as sweet" crap. Those are just people who love the story of Romeo and Juliet. (I like the end of that by the way, they both die. Tragic. Hehehe.)

So if I were you, I'd really make myself get used to calling my ex-girlfriend by her first name.

I am, in fact, an ex-girlfriend. Remember?!

c",)

Hot Noodles

Hello everyone, arrived in the office and was about, let me see, 50 minutes late... hehehe... crazy because when I woke up it was already 8.30...

...a big Congratulations to my friend...

Anyway, I had a hard time falling asleep, maybe the all the Coke I drank in the afternoon and late evening affected my sleeping cells. I had to find a distraction or something to make me fall asleep, so I just listened to the mp3s I loaded into my phone.

I'm now currently waiting for my instant noodles to finish "cooking" itself. I'm a little hungry, I can feel it in my gut. I also had plenty of things to think about last night and I think it made my brains go to overdrive until it had an overload.

I really have plenty of things to do right now. I have to finish 3 reports if I really wanna leave for Manila by the end of this week. Hmmm.

By the way, a big Congratulations to my friend, Ms Troni for passing her oral revalida last Saturday.... Yippeee!!! Congratulations! (So, where will we go this weekend? heheheh!)

Half Empty, Half Full - Ramblings...

I'm sure you've heard or read several stories about that famous phrase 'half empty'. Several positive thinking people I know rather like the version of being 'half full'. For me, being a skeptic in nature (as a friend has described me, I'm the person who doesn't give in to ideas as easily as others do), I'd rather believe both - that the darn glass can both be half empty and half full at the same time.

I'm not going to question the exact difference of the amounts of liquid and space in the glass, although some annoying people who'd just wanna prove that the glass displayed can be considered as half full if they get the exact amount of liquid and compare it to the volume of the glass and therefore determine whether the space is indeed lesser than the liquid which occupies it - ok, I'm rambling. Anyway, it's just that there are really gonna be days when we feel empty - or half empty. No matter how busy we get or how pre-occupied we are with our thoughts and problems (whether our own or not), there's just this 'something' pulling at your gut, whispering, "Are you okay? Are you sure?"

Ok, so fancy a halfling pulling at the hem of your skirt. Duh.

And there are also times when we feel that we've lost track of our lives because we just feel overjoyed over something that happened, or something we got from work, school, or whatever, take a pick. And we sometimes look for someone to share it with, but your list appears empty. Hmmm, sometimes I'm thinking of just hiring someone who'd just listen to me rave and rant over something or someone over an extended period of time. But that can't be. Sometimes I also think about going to another island - like Luzon. Bite me - Luzon's an island, ok? Just a very big one.

Hmm, I also thought that soya milk tastes like crap. Now, I like it, and I'm actually having it right now. But I still definitely think that liver is the yuckiest thing ever thought of as food. Yechkt!

I'm actually facing a window, a big one, and the view is...well, the finance department. I can actually see these people moving about, with piles of paper sometimes, often times with a glass on hand, because they're going towards the water station, placed where? By the window. Hmph.

And sometimes, the view is just well... boring. There are moments when everyone is just sitting down facing the computer, the only sounds you can hear are the tip-tap sounds of their fingers on the keyboard, the phones ringing, or the scratchy sound of their radio playing on the background. (Ok, so I really can't hear their typing 'coz of the glass window, but bear with me, k?)

And here I am, watching them, typing around about them, writing things they may never get to read or know about because they don't really have an idea that I have a darn blog. Yipeee! To my delight of course, because I can write things about them and they'd never ever now about it. Well aside of course from those who can access the internet and has visited this blog once or twice or even several times before, congratulations - you have bigger brain cell degeneration because of usage than your colleagues.

Think I'll end this rambling already and go to my audit work. Have to concentrate on this, it's nearing the deadline!

Lips of An Angel

I like this song, just makes me wanna cry.... buhuhuhhu...

---o0o---
Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

---o0o---

HinderLips Of An Angel

.....

The Power of a KISS

It's been scientifically proven that frequent kissing stabilizes cardiovascular activity, decreases high blood pressure, cholesterol and overall makes one's life better. The following is a medical account of this quite pleasant activity.


Good for the teeth!
Kissing can substitute any chewing gum that fights plaque and cavity. The thing is, this occupation, namely kissing, is capable of preventing cavities, similar to toothpaste. Such phenomenon can be explained in the following way. Kissing stimulates profuse salivation which helps protect one’s teeth from cavity, since it contains calcium and phosphorus. In addition, passionate kissers are less likely to suffer from gingivitis. Also, saliva becomes neutral in the course of a kiss thus preventing teeth from a number of diseases.


Facial Expression
A passionate kiss causes tensions in more than 30 facial muscles. It helps to smooth out skin and increase blood circulation. Perhaps, it is better to kiss than use various creams and apply masks? Kissing would surely be more pleasant!

Want to Lose Weight?
We lose no less than 12 calories during every passionate kiss. However, one does not have to be a love fanatic to lose a few extra pounds. Scientists claim that 3 kisses a day (20 seconds each) will be enough to make you lose an entire extra pound.

Anesthetic
The so–called endorphin hormone serves as an anesthetic. The more passionate the kiss, the more endorphin is being secreted. One kiss is enough to secrete a sedative dose of these hormones, which in fact exceeds a minimal dose of morphine.

Also, another interesting aspect of kissing deals with antibiotics. In the course of a kiss, natural antibiotics are being secreted in saliva. They also possess anesthetic effect. Simply forget about painkillers and kiss, kiss, kiss!



Anti-stress therapy
A kiss prevents the initial formation of stress hormones—glucocorticoids. These are the exact hormones to be blamed for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, muscle weakening, and insomnia. Generally, a kiss can calm down one’s nervous system quite effectively and rid oneself of stress. That is why those who enjoy kissing are often optimists.
In addition, kissing triggers massive adrenaline rush, which battles stress hormone hydrocortisone and grants us cheerful mood.

Finally, at least three kisses a day leave you in a romantic, pleasant mood for no less than 24 hours.

Boosts Immune System
Our saliva contains the most bacteria. About 80% of them are the same in all people. Nearly 20% of them are unique in every human being. Upon mixing with other particles in the partner’s mouth, they trigger various reactions of microorganisms. As a result, this gives one’s immune system an impulse to form certain antibodies. Scientifically speaking, this process is termed cross-immunotherapy.

Quick Analysis of Genetic Compatibility
This is no exaggeration! While you are kissing, your brain conducts instant chemical analysis of your partner's saliva and issues a “verdict” of your genetic compatibility. That's why do not take long until the first kiss. It is better to establish your compatibility right from the start.

Overall, kissing has an incredibly positive effect on the organism. Those who kiss quite frequently are less likely to suffer from stomach, bladder, blood infections. Also, you can rid yourself of hiccups by means of…you guessed it—kissing!

Kiss up!

excerpts

And you can't fight the tears
that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

désordre

Le matin vient
Surgir de disarrayed l'assoupissement
Ouverture de mes yeux à l'autre
Ordre confus

Silencieusement
Je vais loin avec unfocused des yeux
Loucher du lumineux
Lumière d'un méandre irréfléchi

Lentement
Je marche loin
Du passé ce I désirent ardemment
Pour oublier et laisser l'asunder

Mais les ombres
Suivre de subsistance
Hantise, taunting
Saisir, se tenant

Je me dis, laisse vais
Si vous il, alors faire ainsi
Si vous pas , alors parole ainsi
Tellement I que moi-même peut laisser aller

---o0o---

Morning comes
Arising from disarrayed slumber
Opening my eyes to another
Confused order

Silently
I go away with unfocused eyes
Squinting from the bright
Light of a thoughtless meander

Slowly
I walk away
From the past that I long
To forget and leave asunder

But the shadows
Keep following
Haunting, taunting
Grasping, holding

I say, let me go
If you will it, then do so
If you don't, then say so
So I myself can let you go.

Think Twice

Don't make a promise when you are in joy.

Don't reply when you are sad.

Don't make a decision when you are angry.

---o0o---

What is Marriage?

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the padi field and choose the biggest padi and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the field, went through first row, he saw one big padi, but he wonders may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him. Later, when he finished more than half of the padi field, he start to realize that the padi is not as big as the previous one he saw, he then knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted !!!! So, he ended up went backto the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, "... this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already missed the person.... "

"What is marriage then?" the student asked.

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can gothrough them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reached the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied with, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe that this is the best one you get.... this is marriage."

Good News? or Bad News?

I'm already in the office having my first mug of hot coffee for the morning. Had my breakfast too, a meat roll. Anyway, here I am, updating you folks again. So here goes.

The boss is here again, fortunately or unfortunately, for a series of meetings with her boss, I believe it's regarding the several acquisitions and expansions that the company is planning to undergo. She's gonna be busy as hell because she's the Finance Director. The person responsible for money management. Hehe. Poor gal. I wonder if she'll ever get married.

Anyway, so she's here and after several minutes of just standing there outside her office, because her weird secretary seems to absent, she went into the internal audit office (my office) and well, said hi. (This is the part where I actually receive the good/bad news.)

She asked about the ongoing audit I'm doing with the purchasing department, and so I pointed at the mess of piles of papers from the purchasing dept and mentioned that I have been examining them for a while now. She managed to open a text message (I think, because she looked at her phone and read something.), and then blurt out that I was being "specifically requested" by Sir Wesley to fly out to Manila as soon as possible to help him sort out things with God knows what about. {I was the one he first worked with when he joined the Waterfront management team, we did some offshoot audits of the purchase orders and requests of all the waterfront properties - that's some FYI. Hehe.} So she told me that she told Sir Wesley that maybe just about the end of the month (that's end of September), I may be able to have finished my business here in Cebu, so she'll be sending me to Manila then. Hmmm. I'll be in Manila again?! Gracious.

It's good news, because well, for one thing, I was the one "specifically requested" to do the dirty work, which means that somehow, I may have made some good impression while I was there. Another is because I may be able to just take a step back and leave my troubles here in Cebu. But that also brings me to think that it's bad news because it means it will take me a little while longer to be able to solve my cranky problems here in Cebu, being in Manila and all. But that should be nice because it'll give everyone some hell lot of time to freakin' think and evaluate everything, right? Hmmm, all is good. I think. If this pushes through, then maybe it's really good for everyone, including myself of course.

Because He's a Dum* A*s

Ugh! I hate internet explorer!!!

I was already finished typing this not-so-nice-a-post because I was dissing our income audit "head" (who's a dumb ass - because I don't like him) when I was supposed to add a link to the word kamikazee (one of my all-time favorite bands) when the yahoo pop-up blocker blocked the pop-up (wehehehe, annoying use of words...crazy me) that was supposed to add the link and when I disabled the pop-up blocker, the page reloaded which of course means that, if you have tried blogging through blogger, all the things that you typed before you were able to publish your post will be erased and be gone forever!!! Grrrrhhhh! I hate internet explorer!!!!

Anyways, I'm listening to my phone radio, and the voice I can hear right now is Rob Thomas'. I like him. Hmmm. No questions asked. I just like him. As a singer, ok?

Still, the income audit "head" is a dumb ass. Still, because I don't like him. Why don't I like him? Because he's a dumb ass. (Good thing he doesn't know about this blog. Hehehe!)

;)

When Angels get Dusty

I was looking around my room last night, amazed at how disorderly and unkempt a room can be in a few days, sighing as I realize that I really have to clean up. As I look on top of my tv, I saw that the angel has gotten so dusty, it's no longer white.


So I wondered whether real life angels can also get dusty - from being out of business. I know they get dusty especially when they do all the dirty work, but how about when they're not doing anything anymore? How about when the person they're guarding has become to apathetic, stoic at worst, and has disregarded the tiny guiding voice of their angels?


Weird, huh. I used to believe that our guardian angels are not so angel-looking as we usually see them represented in drawings, paintings, novels, or even in movies. I think our guardian angels look like us - either in the younger state of our existence like a toddler (a very smart toddler then!) or a teenager, or in a mature one, maybe our age or a little older, or way older. But still they look like us. So I guess it's not at all weird when we try to talk to ourselves because, as my theory says, we are really talking NOT to ourselves but to our guardian angels - given that you believe in things like this.

I'm not a firm believer of angels, it's just that, well, Old Bible times have angels, the Revelations has angels in them, so why can't I think that there are angels in this times, right? Hmmm, it's my opinion though, no need for you to flex those arguing muscles.

So when I thought that the angel is dusty, it's not totally because I haven't been talking to her a lot lately, but because..... well, my room is dirty.

c",) hehehe!

Cappuccino & Cafe Mocha

"Had I been" an owl, I wouldn't be feeling sleepy today. Hmmmm... Crazy phrase.

A friend and I stayed in starbucks from about 12 midnight 'til 1:30+am just talking about anything and everything - including that "had it been" phrase that his review facilitator just looooves using while enjoying our blueberry cheesecake, tall cafe mocha, and a tall cappuccino; now I'm feeling sleepy. Hehehe. Think it's mutual. :p

Anyway, received another letter from Reader's Digest - these guys really are consistent in trying to convince subscribers, huh? They just sent me another one of those entries for their sweepstakes thing where your prize, given that your entry gets drawn and you're declared a winner, is either a brand new car or tons of cash, divided into annuities, ofcourse. Hmmm, the thing is, I should renew my subscription together with the properly filled out entry forms. S*it. I can't renew it right now, I don't have enough dough. Heheh...


side comment: part, nahan ka ikaw renew? you seemed interested with it last night...but then again if this entry gets drawn, I get to claim the prize because all entries are under my name.... wehehehe... *evil*

Ang Saloobin ng Utak kong Pagod

Wala lang. I just thought that title was catchy and creepy. I just felt like making another post before I decidedly ride a jeepney and go home- well, ride two jeepneys actually.

I just want to spend a little time exercising my fingers, exercising my brain, trying to write down witty lines, or trying to practice my english especially nowadays when no one around the office seems to appreciate, nor like to, speak in english (except when maybe talking to a foreigner supplier who just happened to barge in and demand for payment). I miss my high school friends. We used to talk in english especially when we were out to dish out fancy expletives on people we don't like. :)

Recently, I haven't found someone who'd be up to a conversation in english, nor is up to talking with me the whole day in english, or who is up to just talk to me in english. I haven't found another decent human being, that's not a foreigner, who'd be willing enough to indulge my brain cells and go practice speaking in english with me.

Anyway, I'd also like to post something here in tagalog. Siguro sisimulan ko nalang sa talatang ito. Minsan kasi nakakapagod din mag-isip ng kung anu-anong salita sa Ingles na magandang pakinggan, o kaya eh yung mga salitang ang akala mo eh sobrang lalim na ng ibig sabihin, yun pala pangkaraniwan lang na ginagamit. Di ka lang talaga nakikinig kaya akala mo eh paghenyo na yung sinasabi nung taong kaharap mo. Minsan naman kasi, lalo na kapag nakatira ka sa lungsod o sa probinsya kung saan di ka naman talaga doon lumaki, nakukuha mo rin yung pamamaraan ng pagsasalita nila. Pati nga minsan yung tono eh kuhang kuha na rin. Buti nalang nga at 'pag nagtatagalog ako eh hindi naman masyadong kakaibang pakinggan. Di ko naman kasi rin masyadong dinibdib yung tono ng Cebuano/Bisaya. Mahirap na pag lumipat na naman ako ng titirhan. Pa'no na, di ba?

Ay naku, ewan ko nga ba kung ano na naman ang pumasok dito sa kukote ko at parang gusto kong magbabad dito sa blog ko ngayon. Pakiramdam ko kasi, mas makakapagpagaan ng loob kung sasabihin ko nalang dito sa mga pahinang ito ang mga saloobin ko kaysa naman sabihin ko sa kapwa tao. Dito kasi, di n'yo naman nakikita kung ano na itsura ko habang pa-pindot-pindot ako dito sa keyboard, di ba? Di n'yo rin naman ako pwedeng sigawan sa harap ko, dahil hindi naman tayo magkaharap! Di nyo rin akong pwedeng laitin na naririnig ko, pwera nalang kung kilala nyo ako at pwede nyo akong puntahan sa bahay ko o kaya eh dito sa opisina at saka pagalitan nang dahil sa mga kagagahang pinaggagagawa ko. Ayoko rin naman yon kaya nga madalas, dinadaan ko nalang sa pa-blog-blog. Buti dito at pwede kong ikwento lahat ng mga kasiraan ng ulo ko, at wala kayong magagawa kundi ang magpatuloy sa pagbabasa at isipin nalang na talaga ngang sira na ulo ko. Hirap intindihin nang takbo ng utak ko 'no? Kaya nga siguro yung talagang matatatag ang pagkatao ang natitira kong mga kaibigan. Lalo na kasi pag sinusumpong ako, nako, ipagdadasal nyo siguro minsan na sana di nyo na ako nakilala.

Hayyy... Minsan nakakatulig din 'tong nakikinig ng sermon habang nagta-type. Nag-download kasi ako ng kopya nung preaching nung nakaraang linggo ng gabi, tapos pinapakinggan ko ngayon habang nagba-blog. Naiintindihan ko naman, pero medyo basag din kasing pakinggan tong speakers ng laptop ko. Ahay. Sa totoo lang, pakiramdam ko, mukha akong sira ulo. Ano tingin nyo? Hehehe!

Bahala na nga kayo dyan. Tinatamad na'ko. Alis nako, punta pako ng mall. Cge bye.

Sulky Feeling

It's a miserably curly day.... Hmmm.

I went to the office today in curls again, here let me share a picture with you. But I kinda not feel so well.

Yeah, there was another conversation. He asked me to call him, and as darn-a*s as I can get, yep, I called him and put myself in a position where I can sulk the whole day after the entire call, or just treat it as it is: a conversation being done because he has no one else to talk to, because his girlfriend was out busy doing something else - a conversation not meant for others to know that it happened.

Anyway, it's almost lunchtime, I'm still thinking what I'd want for lunch. I'm craving for something hot and spicy, dunno why actually. It just gets like this some times of the week. I also picture out having a big, fat, sinful slice of pizza - something I definitely love so much. Sometimes I think I can live on pizza alone. Hehehe... :) And Coke of course. To hell with the notion of having diabetes. Joking... :)

Hmm, I'm also thinking of having a slice of blueberry cheesecake. I tasted a slice from the Marriott here in Cebu, and although I work for Waterfront, I definitely thought Marriott's blueberry cheesecake was amazing. And I'd also like a hot cappuccino, with an extra serving of whipped cream. Ummhmmm. Food I tend to crave for are, yes, sinfully fattening. Hehehe... So sue me.

;)

Sugar Anyone?!

Saw this pic online, and I really found it sweet to look at... Awwwww....

** Wala lang, trip lang nako... Heheheh! :)

Suddenly

"Suddenly, All my troubles seem so far awiiii...."

--o0o--

Hehehe, just joking, it's actually "yesterday, all my troubles seem so far away..." being sung by a drunk Bisaya... (sori poks...)

Anyway, just had lunch, I had chicken curry.

It was a sudden decision from the boss to have my two colleagues fly to Manila this Monday and leave me here in Cebu all alone. *sigh* Boss says that they really need two people working on that property (our term for a hotel branch, or whatever) in Manila. Think they're quite aware of something fishy going on already. Besides, I was sent out also to pry on the prey here in Cebu - same thing, think they actually know that there's something going on, but still needs the formal confirmation from Internal Audit (they wouldn't like to have the External Auditors having a whiff at this, do they? hehehe!).

Anyway, got my phone already. Remember the time when I fumed because I needed a Director's signature just to assert that I'm an employee of this company? Well, it paid off actually, got my phone and postpaid line last Wednesday afternoon (was that Wednesday? kinda forgot.) The phone is nice enough, it has a built-in radio and a Walkman - it's a Sony Ericsson W200i, that's why it has a Walkman thing. Although it takes very low quality pictures because it only has a 0.3 megapixel camera, it's a camera nonetheless. :)

I like it 'coz it's almost like my late Nokia 6600 plus a radio and MP3 player, so in reality, it's a little better. Although I would've wanted it in white, but I can live with black.

Know the Difference!

INFATUATION:

- is an emotion. Real love is deeper than just emotion. Emotions can’t always be trusted. They will change as circumstances around you change. (For example, when your sick, tired, stressed, fearful, etc.) You are so obsessed with someone you fail to see any faults.

- is insecure. Infatuation gets jealous and unreasonable. Love doesn’t. Infatuation fades with time, separation, or change. Love won’t. You’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, that is only true with real love. Being apart will kill infatuation over time, because it must take to survive. When someone else comes along who has more to give, infatuation will switch its attention from an old flame to a new one.

- is fueled by passion and lust. Love runs on respect. Example: David said he loved Kay and wanted to marry her when they graduated from college. Just before their senior year, Kay’s face was scarred in an automobile accident. By Christmas, David broke off the engagement because he said he no longer loved Kay. What David felt wasn’t real love that says, I love you unconditionally, no matter what. It was infatuation that said, I cared because you were…pretty (or sexy, rich, popular, etc.). So I guess this also goes with the situation when one of the partners get fat.. huh?


LOVE:

- is unconditional…someone may have the worst habit in the world, but you love them regardless…you know you’re in love when another’s desires become your desires too…you want the best for another. Love is a commitment to the other person, whether the emotions are there or not. It is a type of devotion that will continue when the emotions aren’t there.

- is a conscious choice to commit (unto death) to honor and cherish the other person and to do what is best for their good (even if what is best is not you in his or her life). This love is not based on what the other person can do for you, but your choice of loving the other person unconditionally. Emotions can enter in, but love is primarily volitional.

- is patient. When you really love someone, you accept them just as they are. Of course, you encourage them to grow, but you love and accept them unconditionally — no strings attached. Real love allows you to be patient with weaknesses and flaws.

- is never jealous. Remember, love gives, it doesn’t take. It wants to share time and attention with others. It allows the one you love the freedom to have other friends and interests apart from you. It’s not possessive.

- is glad when truth wins out. Real love is based on truth and honesty.

- is loyal no matter what the cost. It will always be faithful and stand by the person loved, no matter what.

- always believes. Love is willing to trust. When you really love someone, you’ll believe in her, even when she cannot believe in herself. Again, because there is no fear in love, you trust that person. You’re able to give yourself completely to the relationship.

- always stands it grounds in defending the other person. Love is protective (without being jealous), and will continue to love even when it’s not returned.

Love Actually...

Since I also like watching a lot of movies, I found this slightly amusing... :) Enjoy!


--o0o--


Once upon a time, there was a woman, who had a conversation with God. And it went something like this…


Woman: Lord, I’ve been the wedding planner for my dream nuptials since high school. I’m graduating right now, never been kissed, and still longing for my first romance. I won’t be forever young, you know.

God: Child, somewhere in time, I wrote everyone’s love story:

* Adam asked, “When did You create this perfect woman?,” and I said, “while you were sleeping.”
* For Kate and Leopold, he was her first knight.
* When Harry met Sally, he had learn many things in courtship,’twas almost like groundhog day, but their relationship ended always. There’s no formula, but I promise your love story will be as good as it gets.

W: Well, you’ve always been right. Hope floats. Lord, please don’t let me go through 50 first dates with true love remaining far and away.

G: I’ve been working on it. I just eliminated the 3 musketeers: Shrek, who only wanted a French kiss. Don Juan de Marco, always thinking of dirty dancing. And Robin Hood, who is such an untamed heart.

W: Puwede huwag naman pong parang beauty and the beast kami?

G: Child, you’re a pretty woman inside. He’ll be no ghost.

W: Can it start with a walk to remember?

G: (Smiling) Your true love won’t be at first sight, but it’ll be quite a phenomenon when you get up close and personal. He’ll have sense and sensibility, be a cutting edge guy and a good family man. Stay tune with my Word, pray, listen to other Christians. For one fine day…your top gun will be at the altar uttering the words “only you.”

W: Promise it’s going to be a walk in the clouds?

G: Ever after

W: (Beaming) Life is beautiful.

The Judgment: GUILTY

Yesterday was quite a historical day for Philippines - the first time a former President was convicted for Plunder (in layman's terms, the usurpation of public funds for the politician's personal enrichment). Former President Joseph Estrada was convicted "guilty beyond reasonable doubt" on the case of plunder, while not guilty on his case on perjury (misdeclaration of his assets and liabilities in 1998). HIs co-accused Senator Jinggoy Estrada, who evidently is his son, was also acquitted and so did Atty Edwardo Serapio, one of Erap's friends.

Malacañang was simply silent about the conviction, although some of the Administration friends just can't help but comment and even flash the victory sign. Some of the avid followers of the trial were somewhat skeptic of the result of the promulgation, stating that there may have been some sort of influence from the Palace itself.

Hmmm, for me, I personally think that the justices did their job well, also thinking that they shouldn't be jeopardizing their lifetime career by some meager offers of monetary value or even assured positions as justices of the Supreme Court. I think they examined he evidences presented during the trial, and then diligently came up with the right decision. Considering the pressure from the Administration, I still believe that justice can still be served raw.

Assuming that the justices were really pressured and also gave in, I would think that it would also be a darn stupid idea to give an acquittal to the Plunder case because this will in turn result to a questionable Arroyo Administration. Let us recall that Gloria was put into position because Erap was impeached due to that plunder thing. So if they acquit Erap, Arroyo is in trouble. Simple, right? Some of the cynics I know, who by the way do not know that sometimes they do act like cynics, are now into the idea that maybe, this will work in favor of Gloria. Just imagine the effect of giving a Presidential Pardon to Erap a few months before the 2010 Elections. Hmmm, cool, right? Just imagine how the "masa" will react. Although most of them may still question the motives, still, pardon was given. This is of course, assuming that Erap will accept it. :) Now these are just fancy ideas which of course, can be true. :)

Anyway, enough of the Erap thing. I have a back ache right now and I still have tons to do in the office. I still have to do this thing regarding the suppliers and also complete my audit program for the Finance and Engineering Departments, two of the most horrid places to do audit. Hehehe... So have a nice day!

Public Service: Mis-sent Messages

I actually think that I'm a little irritated receiving unwanted, unsolicited, and better yet, not-meant-for-me text messages. Grrrrhhhh!

It was a good thing that I didn't notice I received such messages until it was just about two and 1/2 hours after the last message came into my phone.

I suggest you delete my name from your phonebook or contacts, or whatever the heck you call it

It was one part because the volume of my ringtones are level one, and another part was because I didn't expect any messages to come in, I just kept my phones inside this pouch thingy which in turn even weakens the volume and so I couldn't hear it even if it was right in front of me - in front of my laptop to be exact. Jane, a colleague, was even playing Avril Lavigne songs, all the more difficult for me to hear my darn phone.

So when I checked on it after lunch, I was surprised when I saw two messages, sent to my number (of course, because I received it, it was obviously sent to my number!) but I definitely think these were not meant for me. I found the message impersonal, and does not at all have anything to do with me. So to the person who sent it, by mistake or otherwise, you know who you are, so please be careful next time and double check the number to which you are sending your messages. Actually, I suggest you delete my name from your phonebook or contacts, or whatever the heck you call it, or at least rename it in such a way that you do not mistake it for another person. Thank you.

Funny, funny, funny

this was one of the crazy scenes in "Evan Almighty"

Watched a movie yesterday afternoon with Teresa and Edj. Faye was not able to go with us because she was asked by her superior to do over time - kill joy naman...

If you just want a lot of decent laughs, then I suggest you watch this too, I had several goo belly laughs because of Evan Almighty, and it's cool. Hehe.. :)

the Mean-time Girl

Saw this post when I browsed through Wax's Blog, and so I'm posting it here too... I like the article, so personal... It was also sent to her by her friend.... :O)

--o0o--

What’s a Meantime Girl?

She’s the one you talk to only when you’re bored because she makes you laugh with her crazy stories. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear, and she really listens. She’s not the one you call when you're out with friends on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know the one who you keep around in the meantime.

She’s not one of the guys who you can play ball with, nor a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a "real" woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused about. She’s too understanding,

...she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway...

too comfortable – she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely and you need someone, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, because she always understands. It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!

But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs – she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny girl, the steadfast companion, the convenient "girlfriend", and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman. You’ll joke to her that she should be the best man at your wedding, and she’ll laugh and make a joke about a smelly rental tux.

She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.

She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.

Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around.

Peaceful Saturday Morning

Hmmm, the office today is a little silent, it's just me and my music that's keeping the sounds floating around. Almost everyone is looking somewhat peaceful, I think we're all excited for the weekend. It's quite tiring around the Finance Department you know. You're always on your toes.

Anyway, we had bible study yesterday. I realized that I've somehow left my bible untouched during weekdays. I only flip through it on Sundays, and it's quite a shame. Listening to our facilitator yesterday, I realized that no matter how difficult it is, I should always try to forgive, at least seventy times seven (70 x 7) times a day according to Jesus. So it just occurred to me when I woke up this morning that despite everything that happened, he still doesn't deserve to fail in whatever he's doing or he plans to do because it would be actually shameful if I wished him bad things 'coz I'd appear to be bitter then, which I'm not.

A few people are busy going around the office now, asking for documents, updates, some are suppliers eager to get their payments, some of which are already long overdue. So I think, I'll just go on listening to the music, sit back and relax until it's time to go out and enjoy the party. :)

Good Morning...Good Morning?

Is it really a good morning?

Well, at the start of the day, I really hoped it would be a good morning. All started ok, the waking up, the preparation for work, the travel to the office, up until I started filling out the form for an application for a postpaid line with Globe Telecom.

What annoyed me really was not the application itself, nor was it the messenger, but one of the employees of our company. I wouldn't mention her name anymore, but she's connected with the HR department (we actually call it Peers Services Department [PSD] here). All I needed was her signature to certify that I am indeed an employee of the company and a regular one at that. And do you know what she did? With her annoyingly pouting face, she said, "Si Ms **** lang ana mam, di ko mupirma ana, sya lang ana."

Imagine?! I needed a Corporate Director to sign this simple certification for a 500 peso postpaid plan? Grrrrhhhh!!!

But.... The good person that I am, although I was fuming already, I went to the PSD and had my application signed nevertheless.

And yet, good things still happen. A friend of mine, Sheila, one of the hotel's outlet cashiers, called me at the office and asked whether I was in (of course, I answered the phone, didn't I? Peace Shei...hehehe!) because she was going to drop by and share some blessings - hmmm, food! Lovely, enjoyable food.

Indeed she went to the office and gave me the package, a big Chocolate ensaymada (yummy!!!! I'm a sucker for chocolates!) and a quiche (pronounced as "keesh") which was equally satisfying... It wasn't her birthday though, it was just like a custom for her that when her husband receives his commission from their real estate business, she just goes out and buys food for friends and family. (Now that's sharing! :>)

So I'll go ahead and enjoy my quiche. Bon apetit!

Going Home

I'm just looking at my new blog layout and figuring out how to edit it out a little more, but then again, my eyes are kinda tired from looking at the monitor the whole day.

Hopefully, tomorrow's gonna be a new day, I think we'll be starting a new audit project which somehow was not yet approved by the President, but still we had a "go ahead" for it. We're trying to implement a full operations audit so that we can start cleaning out the organization. :)

So I think I'll be posting this and be on my way home already.

Cherubs on Earth

I love this picture.

Just the fuzzy feeling of looking at children, and in this case "cherubs", taking a try on the swing, enjoying their time together, feeling the breeze against their skin and listening to the gentle ticklish laughter that can be heard from them while trying to hold on tight on the handles of the swing.

I love looking at children, watching them play, without any other care in the world.

Sometimes I wish I can be a child again and just forget the pains of being a young adult.
*Sigh*

Some Chances Just Run Out

It was a rough night last night - rough because I received messages from my ex. Ok, some of you maybe sighing right now saying, "Oh no, she's into it again."

But actually, no. I just felt bad also to be the recipient of such musings again. I'm sorry to post it all here, but I just have this need to air it all out before I suffocate.

Yesterday was September 3, it would have been our "monthsary" given that we're still together. Given that all was like before, there would have been a date, dinner after work, a walk around the mall or wherever our feet would take us, maybe a cup of coffee before going home, reminiscing some good times, things we've been through, greeting each other, and an almost never ending barrage of sweet nothings.

But that was just the "what would have been" scenario. Yesterday was different. Just like the previous five 3rd days of the month, all was silent. I spent the day at the office, deciding to go home at about 9.30pm. Had conversations with my audit colleagues the whole day, talking about things not actually related to auditing. Some topics were about our love lives (and the non-existence of it), what happened, what could've happened. Talked about the seminar that we attended about operations audit, talked about friends and the things these guys can and will do just to show their support at times when we really need them. But my day ended with something I didn't expect. I received a message from my ex-boyfriend late in the evening. I thought it was just only to ask how was I doing, what's happening, how come he didn't see me at church the day before, etc, etc, etc...

So I replied that I was OK, and that I wasn't in church because of the seminar, and that I was watching TV. I thought he wasn't gonna reply anymore, but he did. He said things that I really didn't want to hear anymore, or maybe I did but I wasn't expecting the gravity of the emotions that it could still trigger in me. Maybe because he said he missed me, missed calling his "hunnie", missed his hunnie. Maybe also because he apologized again, for all the things that have happened between us. And so I told him he shouldn't be missing me anymore because he has his "gang-gang" already. I was already annoyed a bit, and yet I was still crying - just couldn't help but let the tears flow. I was irked because he still had the nerve to say that he missed his hunnie, when everytime he comes to see me he was showing me that he was already happy with the other girl - "showing" as in pictures posted everywhere, unsolicited stories, showing me that he wears the girl's accessories like rings or bangles, things like that. I couldn't figure out anymore whether he was still telling me the truth or whether he just couldn't think of something else to say. I was angry - angry at myself for still being affected after 5 whole months, affected in a way that I still feel the angst, the irritation, the annoyance everytime I look back at what happened and look at everything from a bird's eye view. I feel annoyed because I didn't actually use my brains during those times. He texted again and said he really was sorry, about everything, and that he wished that I'd take care of myself. I really thought my replies were a little sarcastic and concise at that, but I believe that it was the right thing to do. I couldn't gamble my heart again and then have that fear that I'm about to lose.

He even mentioned that he's not trying to win me back, because he thinks he can't anymore - but did he really try? The answer is no. All he did was show me that he was happy without me, that he didn't miss me, that he and the girl were good together. All he did was to let me know that he as happy with his new relationship and that he didn't need the "pressure" and the emotions that makes him go crazy when we were still together. All he did was to show me right in the face that he has a new life now, with the new girl.

A friend once told me, I couldn't hurt myself unless I do, and others couldn't hurt me unless I allow them to. Well, this maybe a perfect situation. I shouldn't allow myself to be hurt again - yes, I can give this guy another chance, give ourselves another chance together, but I thought, there will always be this tugging feeling at my gut that he may do the same things he did, and we'll both end up in a vicious cycle that I know we both don't like to be in. There's this fear that maybe about 10 years along the relationship, there's still this shadow of doubt of whether he's really telling me the truth, or just telling me white lies. A nagging feeling of whether he really feels what he says, or just came back to the relationship because of the familiarity of it, or for the comfort and security.

Yes, I can give a second 2nd chance, but this time, I think the second chances have run out.

Seminars, Laptop & Weekends

Seems these three have a weird effect on me...

Seminars. I and my colleagues attended a two-day seminar on Operations Audit, spearheaded by the Institute of Internal Auditors - Philippines, Cebu Chapter and facilitated by Ms Susan Domingo. The materials were adequate enough, and the group activities actually gave me time to bond with my former classmate & blockmate in college, Mitz, and also with our Department Chair, Mr Challoner Matero. All in all, the topics were good, discussed better and would have been great if Ms Susan also gave more inputs that were not literally in the slides, because, Ms Susan (although she was very good with the discussion and gave a lot of examples also) just read the items that she placed in the slides. So we were just like in kindergarten, learning how to read. Anyway, God bless her, she was really good in expounding some of the points and also trying to pry from us ideas and/or questions. I think Ms Ching enjoyed so much because she was very very participative. It was aactually like it was her first time to hear "Operations Audit" existed as a word... :) No offense.

Laptops. These things drive me crazy nowadays! For one, since I'm learning how to manipulate Photoshop and edit my blog background, as you can definitely see, well, a slow moving laptop and internet connection just irks me a lot and I hate being irked nowadays! Additional wrinkles just don't fit my immediate plans. At least I kinda enjoyed bringing it home and watching some dvd's....

Weekends. These I love. Not because I get to stay home all day, or watch TV as long as I like, or sleep until I feel tired of sleeping, or just lying in bed staring at the ceiling (which at times is really quite entertaining), or just staying by my door trying to get a whiff of fresh air, but because its during these days that some good news come and go. One good news is one of my friends, Philip, has already opened his own grill and bar called SMILEY'S, and we were invited to go to its official opening (of course he should invite us, or else....). I'm quite excited, it's gonna be this coming Saturday. It'll be some kind of college get-together also because most of our common friends are also classmates before.

here's Philip ;)

Another good news is that I needed to send money to my mom for my brother's sake. For me it's good news because I can feel that somehow I get to repay the kindness, support and hard work that my parents have devoted to help me finish school, and now I try to repay them by helping my little bro (although he's not so little anymore - he's taller than me now).

And there are some news - whether good or bad - that only me, myself and I are allowed to know, so maybe someday, we'll share it with you. Then again, maybe not. :)